Wednesday again? Really? Seems like we just did this. It’s so weird how individual days can seem to drag on, but then a week goes by and I have no idea where it went.
For anyone who’s new to this (and hello, welcome!), WIPpet Wednesday is the day when we post a bit of a work in progress that somehow relates to the day’s date: 22 lines, something from page or chapter 22, 22+5 lines (for the 22nd day of the 5th month)… we like to get creative.
As I said in the title, I’m running out of stuff to post on Wednesdays, for a few reasons. One is that I’m going back to editing Bound, and I don’t know whether I can finish this story before I do. I read a post on heroines at There and Draft Again the other day, and it made me miss Rowan so badly I wanted to cry. I need to get back to her story. But I don’t want to disappoint anyone waiting on this one… The other issue is that while I love how this Newfoundland vampire thing is going,* a lot of it might not be appropriate for WIPpet Wednesdays. Some of it is sex, a lot of it is violence. Gory post-murder scenes, tortured bodies of innocent people. Necessary for the story, but kind of only appropriate for a certain audience.
Well, here’s something for today, anyway, 22 paragraphs. This takes place a few days after the training from last Wednesday. After they went to help investigate one of these disturbing scenes, Trixie decided to leave Daniel and Shivva to go train under an experienced rogue hunter. Now Shivva and Daniel are alone in the townhouse. Shivva was pretty shaken up over the way the people died, and by suspicions that Katya, the rogue hunter, had something to do with the murders (she’s keeping that to herself for now). Sorry if some of what they talk about is confusing; it was all explained earlier.
Again, this is first draft stuff. You’ve been warned.
I sit on the counter, swinging my feet, banging them against the wood of an empty cupboard door. Daniel leans against the fridge, and kicks it when it starts making that thrumming noise like it does sometimes. We’ll need to replace that, too.
My thoughts are everywhere tonight.
“So,” Daniel says. “This shouldn’t be weird, right?”
“I don’t think so. We’ve been alone in the house before. You and Trixie were here together before I came along, I assume that wasn’t weird.” I assumed a lot of things until he kissed me. Assumed there was nothing more to our relationship than the hard-ass trainer/desperate-to-achieve underling. Sure, I’ve always known he was attractive, but I’ve never really considered dating vampires… or whatever. I have my fun with the humans I feed on, some times more than others, and I’m satisfied with that. To consider a relationship is just crazy. Especially with him. He doesn’t want that, of course. It was a training exercise. Calm down, Shivva.
He’s watching me again. He steps closer. “This morning was hard for you, wasn’t it? Worse than the other one.”
“Um. Well, yeah.” I’m not sure what to say. Katya is an old friend of his, and someone he respects. Who respects him. Who I’m wrong about. Why do I have to keep telling myself that? Best to focus on something else.
God, his eyes are gorgeous.
“Maybe telling you to open yourself up to that whole compassion thing was a bad idea. I’m sorry, Shiv.” He pulls his hair back from his face, then lets it fall forward over his eyes, shadowing them.
“No, it’s fine. I was getting something, but I guess it wasn’t quite there. I think it’s helping, I just need to learn to hide my emotions better.”
“Yeah.” There are a thousand words floating in the air between us, unspoken. I wish I knew what they were. He wants to say more, I can feel it. He steps closer again. “Shiv, about the other night…”
“Oh. I told you it was OK.” I try to laugh, but it falls flat, adding to the weight of the room’s atmosphere. “You were right about a lot of things, you know. About not trying to be a good vampire and just letting it happen, about my enemy perception being flawed when my expectations are too… specific.” He’s locked his eyes onto mine, making me stumble over my words. My mouth is dry.
He swallows hard. “I can’t be your trainer anymore.”
“What?” I want to jump down to the floor, but I can’t without crashing into him. “I’m fired?”
“No, you’re not fired.” He’s got that worried look again. No, confused. Uncertain? Why can’t I get a handle on this? “I just can’t do it anymore.”
“But I’m doing better, really! I know I haven’t been making much progress recently, but I think with your new ideas, I could do better. I am doing better, already. Daniel, please—”
He holds up a hand, places a finger on my lips to silence me. My skin prickles, and a shiver like a bucketful of cold water washes across my back. He feels it, and smiles. “Shivva, you’re doing fine. I know I don’t tell you that enough. Or ever, actually. But you’re doing great. Once you get past this last block, you’ll be ready for whatever you want to do. When I found you, I thought you’d be suited for investigations and hunting, but if this isn’t working out for you, the world is yours. I’m proud of you. You’re strong and smart and amazing, and I wish I could say that it hurts me to kick your ass, but it’s actually pretty fun. I like training you.”
“So what’s the problem? I’m not done like Trixie.”
He steps forward again, into my space, his hips between my knees, hands resting on the counter on either side of me. His face is just inches away from mine. “If you feel like you’re not ready, I can find someone else to train you, but it would be unethical for me to be in a position of authority over you.”
“Daniel?” Is he going to kiss me?
“Just say I’m not your trainer anymore.”
“You’re not my trainer anym–”
His mouth cuts me off, pressed against mine. Harder than the other night, forcing my lips back against my teeth. He stops, pulls back so that his lips are a hair’s breadth from mine, not touching. Giving me a chance to pull away.
Think she’ll tell him to shove off? 🙂
Be sure to check out the other WIPpeteers’ contributions here (updated all day long!), and thank you to the splendiferously spectacular K.L. Schwengel for hosting all of this. If you want to join in, post your own work on your blog (relating to the date in some way) and add your link!
And if you have a moment…
Now, I also need to toss in a ROW80 update, don’t I? Not much to say. I’ve had a few days when I’ve got my 1,000 words in, but I’m feeling a little uninspired right now. I know where this story is going and how to get there, but I’m tired. We’ll see if tonight’s write-in with the writing ninjas perks me up at all. I haven’t been waking up early; the tiredness extends to everything, not just writing. I’m reading a bit, but it’s on the Kobo, and I find myself wishing I had a paperback copy. Still adjusting to it. I might hold off on reviewing anything I read on there, because I think it’s affecting my enjoyment of the stories, and that’s not fair to the author or the story. Maybe after I find one I can’t put down, my brain will get the message. 🙂
I really want it to work out, because books are so much cheaper that way, especially stuff that doesn’t come from big publishers. I’m finding myself much more likely to try a book I wouldn’t have otherwise when I can get it for less than $5 (so no, this doesn’t include most traditionally published stuff, but I’m finding some interesting-looking books from other sources).
I hope everyone’s having a great week, whether you’re a WIPpeteer, a #ROW80 participant, or someone who’s actually sane and does neither. If you’re here, I want you to be having an amazing week.
*My kingdom for a title!
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:29 am
Oh, you tease! All that delicious UST and then you stop! (I know, it’s the rules, but I don’t have to like it!)
I feel your pain, titles are the bane of my existence as well!
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:31 am
Yeah, and it gets SUPER GOOD after this. Silly rules. 😉
May 22nd, 2013 at 11:15 am
Wooooweeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great scene!!!! And when I got to the end, I was all, “What????” I didn’t want it to end.
Kate, you’re doing marvelously. Maybe you don’t feel inspired. But scenes like this show inspiration. You are working on multiple projects so you’re doing fantastically!
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Thanks. I liked this scene. 🙂
May 22nd, 2013 at 11:35 am
Silly rules indeed if it gets ‘super good’ after this – mind you this extract was super good in its own right. Just love Shivva’s thoughts such as ‘God, his eyes are gorgeous breaking up the conversation and the dialogue is spot on too, flows really well. And the sexual tension between them… phew!
May 22nd, 2013 at 1:41 pm
This is really good Kate. So much intrigue and sexual tension. I love the uncertainty Shivva is experiencing. I may not be a vampire (wasn’t last time I checked anyway!!) but I can definitely relate to her feelings towards Daniel, the way she’s unsure of what he feels for her. What happens next?? And more importantly do I have to wait a long time to find out??!!
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Are you sure? Check again. 🙂
What happens next is probably about what you’d expect, except maybe with more biting. There, I told you, you don’t have to wait to find out. ^_^
May 22nd, 2013 at 1:55 pm
This is a very cute scene. 🙂
So.. I’m the only “tell below” in the votes so far. Gore and violence are all good with me, but if you could keep sex scenes to teasers like this, I’d be way more comfortable. (I won’t be offended or upset if I get out-voted. Just expressing an opinion.)
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:02 pm
Ack! It ate my first comment so I thought something went wrong and re-voted, but it counted both votes. Subtract one vote from “something else”.
This is a cute excerpt. 🙂 In holding with my “something else” vote. I’m all good with blood and guts, but if you can keep sex scenes to mild teasers like this one, I’d be way more comfortable. (I won’t be offended or upset if I get outvoted.)
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:08 pm
I don’t think I’d post the sex, anyway. I’d rather people get to know the characters better before they read that stuff. 😉
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:19 pm
I can’t tell you how relieved I am to read that! I’m something of a prude.
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:21 pm
I’m not a prude when it comes to reading or writing about sex, but I’m not comfortable with it out of context, especially with my characters.
So… I guess that makes me not comfortable with the literary equivalent of casual sex? Is that weird? I just want people to love my characters before they get intimate! *sob*
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:40 pm
“literary equivalent of casual sex” That phrase makes me giggle. But yes, it makes complete sex and is not at all weird (to me, at least).
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Oh look. It’s the disappearing, reappearing comment trick. *facepalm* Sorry, Kate.
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Haha- want me to delete it? I think it’s kind of funny. WordPress can be so hormonal some days, I swear.
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm
It’s up to you. It’s your blog I’m hogging. 🙂
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:41 pm
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Blog-Hogger. See, now there’s a Super Hero name. Come on, say it in an announcer’s voice and see how it sounds. Very cool, yes?
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Is blog-hogger the hero, or the villain?
May 23rd, 2013 at 10:52 pm
I’m thinking . . . villain.
May 22nd, 2013 at 4:44 pm
Oh. Mai. Gawd. She was all like…and he was all like…and then it just ENDED. *cries*
Anywhos, this was another great scene from this WIP. I really enjoy Shivva’s narrative voice and the tension between her and Daniel. I would love to read more of this. 🙂
Pft. I’m a “Game of Thrones” fan…gore, violence, and sex don’t bother me. Maybe mention in the beginning of the post that the below may not be suitable for all readers, if it contains questionable material. That way readers can choose to continue to read or not. I’m planning on doing something like that before my Sophia starts dropping the f-bomb.
May 22nd, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Hmm… I’ve already dropped an f-bomb in at least one post, and a BS in the first snippet from this piece… but yeah, I would definitely warn about that stuff. I just worry because of the number of people who said the arm-cutting scene from Bound made them sick. O.o
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:51 pm
I must have missed the f-bomb. I’m likely immune to it. I agree with Jessica.
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:52 pm
The f-bomb was in the post about the horrible report my book would get from a Christian review site. Talking about language, I said that people in my book say d—, s—, and h—, but at least nobody says “fuck.” 😀
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Oooooh. Huh. Now I think I remember that.
May 23rd, 2013 at 11:46 am
I’m pretty immune to the f-bomb too. But I know some people are a little more sensitive.
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:50 pm
I try to save it for special occasions, myself. 🙂
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:48 pm
What are these rules I hear you speak of? Who made these rules? Aren’t they more like guidelines anyhow? (Or does that just apply to the Pirate Code and speed limit signs?)
Anyhow, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Day-um! And yummy, yum. And . . . day-um. Now to quote an awesome song and theme song for Vikings on History, “This will never end cause I want more. More, give me more, give me more.”
May 22nd, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Oh, so the thing with posting something relating to the day’s date is just a guideline? I guess I could have posted 22 paragraphs + 5 paragraphs + 13 paragraphs, which would have got us somewhere really interesting, but that might have stretched people’s post-length tolerance just a little. 😉
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:43 am
I think the official rule on dates, paragraph seven, sub-paragraph 62 . . . no, wait, that’s the one on eating dates while writing . . . not this one, that’s on WIPping on a date, how’d that get in here? Ah, here we go, and I’m paraphrasing (or parasailing, or parboiled, or haven’t had any caffeine yet) Posts must relate to the date in some fashion. So, 22 + 5 + 13 =5/22/13 I see no problem with that. 😀
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:47 am
“Eating dates while writing” can have so many meanings… 🙂
This made me laugh, and I’m not even out of bed yet. I also need caffeine, but I’m trapped under a feline. Halp!
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:48 am
*snork* Oh, I totally missed that, but you are sooooo right.
You’re not out of bed?!!? I’m at work . . . um . . . not that I’m on-line while I should be working. I can multi-task, you know. What are you implying with that look!
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:58 am
Yeah, especially in the context of this WIP…
I’m out of bed now. Getting caffeine. Don’t mind that look, I had something in my eye. I’m impressed with your multitasking skills. 🙂
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:52 pm
♥ ♥ ♥
Seriously, this was my favorite of all these pieces. I loved the tension here, the uncertainties, the characterization… ♥
As for posting pieces… I elected the ‘tell below” as well, because none of the choices fit. I think you should post pieces that work for you. Warn us if you wish, but I personally don’t need a warning. The only caveat I’d suggest… maybe slightly smaller samples. One, it can make two posts from one, and two, it allows us more time to mull over character interplay. (I confess though, I do love long samples most of the time, I just think shorter ones for these #WIPpet posts might help you.)
May 22nd, 2013 at 11:06 pm
I was like that when I first got my kindle. You do settle into it after a while. I still read actual books though. 🙂 x
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:50 pm
Good to know, thanks!
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:46 am
You’re making the WIPpet Weds look like lots of fun. OK I liked this couple. And that tension between them. And they’re both vampires? Kinky! Re the ROW80 check-in, you gave me another something to check out . . . writing ninjas!!!!
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Wednesdays are now my favourite day of the week. WIPpet Wednesdays AND Ninja write-ins. I wrote 1500 words in the hour and a half I was there last night. Definitely check it out! They’re most active on Twitter (for write-ins) and Google+ (for discussion and setting these things up)
And yeah, both vampires. My vampires don’t fall in love with the living. So beneath them. 😉
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:59 am
There wasn’t much context, but this actually all made perfect sense. It almost read like a stand-alone flash fiction. I liked it!
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:44 am
Now there’s something I haven’t tried yet. Have you ever done flash fiction?
May 24th, 2013 at 4:27 am
So many parts to like… and I was already quite partial to Daniel after last week. One of those lovely bits: ‘There are a thousand words floating in the air between us, unspoken. I wish I knew what they were.’ … Please don’t shorten these, and mess with the math however you like. Seriously, I still think there should be a prize for the most creative math on these WIPpets…
Gotta say the comments are great on this blog today… blog hoggers, eating dates… the WIPpeteers have it all!
May 25th, 2013 at 5:53 pm
I am a tell below voter. i want you to post – whatever you want to post. A bit of a heads-up on gore would be great. I’m not offended by it, but Annalise, almost 9, reads well, often over my shoulder, and sometimes still has night terrors if there is more gore than she can handle in a day…if I knew, I would be able to time the reading for when she’s otherwise engaged…or, at least, warn her, or minimize the screen….
My characters also bite (they are sometimes-felinoid and vulpine Hunters, not vampires), so your comment about more biting than might be expected made my chuckle. When a couple decides to Solemate, they actually bite one another to leave a claiming scar.
i love this scene. It sizzles and hints at even more than it delivers, which has me a bit aquiver…in a very good way.
I began playing with flash fiction last year, and, for the A to Z challenge last month, I wrote 26 flash stories, with two characters, in the first person. These stories will become large portions of the early chapters of the two new WIPS I will begin at July CampNaNo, and which I will share here!
And I agree -soem great comments here! =)
February 5th, 2014 at 9:35 am
[…] (vampire) and Daniel (also a vampire, who you might remember from here and here) just fed at the club, and are looking for somewhere to be alone […]
March 24th, 2014 at 11:08 am
[…] maybe a little undead sexytimes and fighting, who likes the WIP snippets I shared here and here and here… comment or drop me a line at kate.sparkes (at) live.ca. I’m just looking for […]