Monthly Archives: May 2013

Conversations Overheard

Have you ever tried that exercise where you eavesdrop on a conversation in a public place, without looking at the people who are speaking? You try to imagine who they are, what they look like, what their relationship is (and if the conversation sounds like it’s supposed to be private, you bug right off and listen to someone else).

I don’t get a lot of chances to do this, because I usually have miniature humans hanging off of me and asking for stuff when I’m in public. I got to a few weeks ago, though, when I was standing in line to order a latte. A man and a woman were speaking behind me, and quite loudly, so I didn’t feel too bad about listening in.

Him: So how did you like it?

Her: Oh, it was great. But it rained a lot.

Him: Oh, yes. I did like the rain in Florida, though. [hesitates] I mean, you wouldn’t want it on a short vacation like yours, I know, but in the summer when it’s hot, there’s something just so soothing about the rain, you know?

Her: Oh, for sure.

At this point I’m thinking early relationship. Flirting, feeling each other out, trying to get to know one another. Obviously not a long-term relationship; talks about the magic of Floridian rainstorms are, in my personal experience, limited to early dates. And this guy is adorable, taking an interest in what she said, offering something in the conversation, listening intently when she says something else about her trip. They go on like this for a minute, making friendly small talk about a few different things, until:

Her: Oh, yeah. That’s what my husband always says.

Him: [dead silence]

So, maaaaybe they’re not dating. What, then? Co-workers who hardly know each other? Did they just meet in the parking lot and get on the topic of Florida really quickly? There’s an airport just down the road… maybe she just got off a plane and he’s giving her a ride because… eh, whatever. I’m trying too hard not to giggle at that awkward moment to think about it.

But dude is cool. Slick, even.

Him: [after prolonged silence] So, what does your husband do?

Nice save! Dude, you were totally not putting the moves on this lovely lady. No, just being friendly! Yep. Smoooooth.

I probably read this all wrong. I came in at the middle of a conversation, couldn’t see their faces or body language. But I learned something important, and the lesson was this:

Awkward moments are WAY more entertaining when they’re happening to someone else.

Also, and I think this bears repeating: nice save, dude in line. Niiiiiice.


Updates and Various Administrivia (and ROW80)

I had a teacher in high school who used the word “administrivia” all the time. Makes me smile.

Anyway, a few non-WIPpet items for this Wednesday afternoon:

  • Update on the schedule thing: I forgot about mornings when I wake up feeling like a troll just caved in my skull with a mallet and my back is so stiff I can’t move. Oops. Well, I’m fine now and AJ’s working tonight, so today’s not a total loss. All it took was lying on my back, legs up like a dead bug (there’s a mental image for you) for a while to get my back moving and some Advil and caffeine for the head, and I’m good to go. *cue inspirational music*
  • Those plants I mentioned the other day are now outside in the garden. No hidden message about writing here, I just want you all to cross your fingers, toes, lungs, whatever that at least some of them survive. 🙂

One more thing: I think I’m going to join ROW80. Because, y’know, I had Camp NaNoWriMo last month, I have JuNoWriMo next month and then Camp in July and NaNo proper in November, but I need something to fill the gaps. *cough* I will always be a NaNo gal first and foremost, but I see no reason I can’t do both. It’s all about goals and accountability, right?

So I guess I needs to set me some goals to get through until June 20, hmm? Let’s see…

I don’t know when I’ll get back to editing Bound, so those goals will have to wait. As far as writing, I’m going to say 1,000 words a day on the vampire thing I posted from earlier today. I don’t expect it’ll be novel-length, so I could be done before the end of this round. We’ll see how she goes. Also, 3+ blog posts a week (not a problem so far)

Did I do that right?

If you think you might want to join in (set your own goals, report back on Wednesdays and Sundays), check it out here and sign up here.


WIPpet Wednesday: Bite Night

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, where we share a snippet of a work in progress that in some way relates to the day’s date, hosted by the scrumdiddlyumptious K.L. Schwengel.

In keeping with last week, when I showed you a first draft (of a first scene) on the first, I’m going to give you something else from the same story for the 8th. Not an 8th draft, but the last 8 paragraphs of a scene I had a lot of fun writing.

To set the scene: Shivva has gone to the club, yadda yadda, it’s feeding time! She’s chosen a first-timer, taken him to a dark alcove, and tried to make him comfortable; the human’s emotions at the time of feeding will affect her, and she’s nervous enough about the assignment without him adding to it.

Content warning: much groping of bodies and nomming of necks.

Enjoy.

He pulls me closer with one arm while his other hand continues to explore, now pulling in frustration at my jeans, now slipping under my shirt. His skilled groping is a little distracting, but it sends delightful tingling sensations to places I don’t have much use for these days, and I let it continue as I press harder against him, kissing his neck down to his collarbone, nibbling a little, teasing myself. I could have had him by now, but it’s so much more fun to make it last.

His rapid breathing indicates that he’s enjoying himself already, but I trail my hand down over his chest, over the hard muscles of his stomach, lower, just to make sure. Hey, there. I laugh softy into his ear. “You like that?”

He whimpers in response, and I spin around, straddling his legs, grinding my hips into him. He groans. I can only imagine what anyone listening outside would think, but it’s no worse than what’s happening in whatever sound-proofed room Trixie has disappeared into. My lips are on his neck again, drawn to its heat and to that thing that goes beyond physical senses and calls to something deeper inside of me.

My body shudders. His hands are so warm; the chill of my skin doesn’t seem to bother him. Perhaps it excites him, as it does so many others. He pulls me closer still and moves his body beneath me, and I wonder whether perhaps feeding couldn’t wait just a little longer.

Then he moves his head to catch my lips with his own. The shock of it freezes him, but only for a moment. It’s our saliva that poisons them, that sends them out of their bodies with the overwhelming pleasure that keeps them coming back. He’s just had the tiniest taste of it, and he wants more. His tongue pushes into my mouth, any skill he’s acquired with his fragile human girlfriends forgotten in his desperation to be closer to me.

My left canine scrapes the delicate skin of his mouth. He gasps at the pain, but doesn’t pull back. The taste of blood nearly drives me mad. It is life. It is existence. It is everything.

I pull away before I can bite his tongue off. He twists his fingers into my hair to hold onto me, but his strength is nothing compared with mine. He’ll get what he wants, though. I lower my mouth to his neck again and sink my fangs into his skin, savoring the resistance of that thin barrier. He cries out. Yes, it hurts them, every time. And then my mouth is sealed over the twin wounds, drawing the blood from him, and the sounds he makes turn to soft gasps of wonder and disbelief as my poison overcomes everything else that’s in him. His pulse is strong and his blood hot, and it flows easily down my throat. The melancholy that plagued me earlier in the evening and the uncertainty I felt in Miranda’s office are gone. I am real, I am present, I am powerful, and there is nothing outside of this moment that matters.

It’s going to be hard to stop.

WIPpet Wednesday is growing all the time! Click here to visit the linkamajig and take a peek at everyone else’s contributions and share the love. If you’d like to join in, add your own link. You know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it.


Schedules and Goals

In support of Briana at “When I Became an Author” (and because I should probably be accountable to someone for this stuff), I thought I’d try to set up a little schedule for myself, see if I can’t become just a little more efficient in my time management (she said as she downloaded a Time Management game to waste time on).

Let’s see…

SCHEDULE

6:00 am- wake up. OK, this sounds gross, but for some reason my body clock is getting me up this early, anyway. Might as well make use of it, right?

6:15- WRITE. Easier said than done when I have blogs, facebook, twitter and e-mail begging for attention, but I can do this. I think. Dang it, I wish I had willpower!

7:15- Get kids up, actually start day.

…and that’s all I can really schedule. My husband is a police officer, he works shifts, everything else has to kind of work around him. Not that I mind; I love having time with him. But it does mean that when he works during the day, that hour up there is all the straight writing time I’m probably going to have, at least until September when my buddy Captain America starts kindergarten half-days. I’ve promised myself more writing time then, but we’ll see how that works out.

But there is one more thing:

10 minutes before bed- Figure out exactly what’s going to get written in the morning. Make notes to read over so I can jump right into it.

Well, it’s a theory, right? It might save time in the morning.

GOAL: 1000 words a day on new story, or editing as needed on Bound when I get back to it (which had better be soon. Holy crap I miss my characters and their story!). Plus more, if I have evening time available.

And what of blogging? That, I can do in little bits during the day. Don’t take this personally, but writing for you guys doesn’t require the level of concentration that writing coherent and interesting fiction does.

Anybody else have a schedule or tips to share? Something that’s working for you? Goals for the week or month?


The Writer’s Garden

Confession: I have a brown thumb. I admire people who can make plants grow and thrive, who have an instinct for nurturing them and whose gardens burst with blooms and edible bounty. I’m not one of those people. I feel guilty buying plants or starting seeds, because it seems unfair to them when they could have a fighting chance with someone else.

But this… this is MY YEAR!

Maybe. The tulips we planted in the fall are pushing out of the ground (much to my surprise). The pansies in the front garden have somehow managed to keep their blooms all winter, which is both amazing and somehow disturbing in a sci-fi kind of way.

And we’re working on a vegetable garden.

Not a fancy one, of course. Easy things like beans and zucchini, and the kids wanted to try pumpkins and corn and carrots. I’ve got salad mix started, because why not? It’ll work or it won’t, and we’re having fun along the way. It’s actually going well so far. The plants we chose to start indoors (because the seed packets said to) have done well in their brief lives, and last week Captain America helped me move the seedlings from their wee soil pellets to roomier accomodations.

Such a versatile hero!

Such a versatile hero!

So there we were with our tiny jungle of seedlings that we’d started as instructed: 2 or 3 seeds in each pellet. Oh, the bounty!

Ain't that purdy?

Ain’t that purdy?

Now, on to the pots! One problem. It said to keep only the strongest seedling in each pellet.

WHAT? The injustice of it had me fuming. How unfair! Why shouldn’t the smaller seedlings have a chance to live and grow, to enjoy the fresh air and the sunshine, to take their chances in the “will the cats decide that this garden is a litter box” lottery? Yes, I like a good underdog story, and the smaller seedlings were just sitting there like wee green Mighty Ducks, begging for me to be their Emilio Estevez.

PLANTS, I WILL BE YOUR EMILIO.

I’m not unreasonable. The non-starters went, as did the ones that couldn’t be bothered to lift their lazy heads out of the dirt until the previous day. But a strong-looking plant that just happened to be smaller than its soil-mate? Up yours, Jiffy Pots, they get to grow on, too.

IMG_2204

They look less impressive all spaced out, don’t they?

You may be wondering why I’m rambling on about these plants when Tuesday posts are usually reserved for writing. Well, here you go:

I’m allowed to do this with plants. We’re in no danger of running out of garden space; if the smaller seedlings don’t yield anything, we’ve lost nothing but a cheap paper pot.  The same can’t be said for many aspects of stories. When it comes down to the edits, of course the weeds have to go: the passive phrases and “was” clusters, the “how the heck did present tense sneak in there?” moments,  the unnecessary adverbs, the excessive shrugging. It’s tedious, but fairly painless. But the weak seedlings have to go, too.

Sometimes it’s not so hard. That subplot that has nothing to do with anything and never went anywhere? Sure, that can go, it’s just dragging everything down. That cameo by the main character’s boss, who’s never going to show up again*? Cut. Wasn’t attached to her, anyway. A scene walking in the woods with the guy who’s not going to be around for long? Eh, there was important information there, but things will be tighter if it’s worked in elsewhere, and he’s had his moment (and he’ll have more in the future, so I don’t feel at all sorry for him).

But that’s never enough.

Next we come to the bits that start to hurt. A touching scene between the main character and a sibling that tells us so much about that character and her family and works in a good amount of worldbuilding, but that doesn’t really move the story forward? That hurts. Re-working things so that this person never shows up in-story and is only referred to when necessary? Also kind of ouch (and cutting her obnoxious, loud kid actually hurt a lot more; I found that situation amusing).

And never mind characters and scenes; what about entire concepts that have been part of your world since you started farting around with it way back when… what happens when they’re important, but are taking up too much page space when you explain them? If they can’t be cut, maybe they can be pushed to the background until they’re needed…

That one bled a little, but it keeps the first 5 chapters flowing more smoothly and quickly.

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it? It would be amazing if we had unlimited “garden space” in our stories, room for all of our beloved characters, story elements, scenes and subplots to live and grow, even when they’re not adding anything productive to the work.

Well, there is a place for them. But it’s  not in the stories we expect the general public to enjoy.

If our work is going to bear fruit, we have to make tough decisions, identify the weak elements, and do what it takes to make the end result focused, readable, interesting, and well-paced. Pull the weeds, toss the weak sprouts, prune the dead branches.

Do we always succeed? I haven’t read many perfect books, have you? But we do our best, no matter how it hurts, because our garderns– er, stories– deserve no less.

Let’s have it in the comments: when’s the last time you cut something that really hurt? Have you ever felt like you took too much? Any great success stories? And what are you growing in your garden this year?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an underdog team of zucchini seedlings to coach and lead to a hockey championship.**

*very early draft, don’t judge me.

**Metaphors may not be my strong suit…


Finding your Genius

Love this talk from Elizabeth Gilbert.


Question for Monday

Tell me this happens to you, too:

You write something that, to you, is unique. You’re careful not to use wizards going off to wizard school, dumbass girls falling in love with stalker vampires, or teenagers being all hungry and having to kill each other in a game of some sort*. You reject your muse’s first offer (and second, and third) to try to make everything unique.

You write. You revise.

And then you read new books that have elements that are similar to yours. Not the core concept (at least for me, not yet, knock on wood), but a setting, a situation, a character’s background. Frenemies trapped in a tight space while bad guys lurk outside. A guy who lost his mom young, who was forced to not show feelings, who effing hates his dad.

It’s not that I expect my ideas to be completely unique; I truly believe it’s all been done, and will be again in new ways. And these are small things, and the way they come into my story is nothing like how they show up anywhere else.

But it makes me want to go scream to the world that I thought of it before I read it in someone else’s book. That I’m willing to share, but I didn’t copy off of another student’s paper.

It’s just me being silly, but that’s my question to writer types. Has this ever happened to you? I’m on number 3, which probably isn’t too bad for minor issues… Did you just shrug and go, “eh, whatever,” or did you immediately think that you’ll be accused of lifting other people’s ideas? Do you burn books and curse authors when they [retell the fairy tale you’re retelling, have a similar love story concept, use a name you really wanted]? Change your story? Let it be, secure in the knowledge you’ve done nothing wrong?

I’m not so much asking for advice here; I already know what I’m doing about it. I’m just wondering about times when this has happened to any of you, and whether you changed your own work in response, decided that you’re the only one who would notice anyway and left it, screamed and cried and threw your manuscript (or computer) out the window, stalked the other author and demanded to know how they got into your head… story time!

(For the record, I am changing one name after finding out that my brother and sister duo’s names are the same as a romantically linked couple in a popular YA series I haven’t read yet, but the other stuff is staying.)

*Crap, there goes my idea for “Starvation Backgammon” 😦


WTF, Walmart?!

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Fruit Kiss Kids: They will kill you in your sleep.


I’m Happy! I’m Disturbed!

I’m using an uncharacteristically large amount of exclamation points!!!

Really, though, things are good. My husband is back safe from an overnight trip, and he gets to keep his gun for another year. I told him that if he failed his qualifications he’d have to arm himself with a bicycle bell to startle bad guys with, and that I’d have to call him Bicycle Bill.

I don’t know why. I was very tired at the time, don’t judge me.

In any case, AJ will not be going by the name Bicycle Bill, or Penny-Farthing William on fancy days. I’m almost completely happy about this.

And I had a good day while he was away. A 6,000 word day is unheard of for me, but it happened. It’s been such a long time since I could just let my muse have his way with me, since I could write whatever the hell I wanted without worrying about keeping things consistent in an established world. It was super fun, and it did wonders for my mood. We really need these Storymoons more often.

You know, Storymoon. Like a honeymoon, but with wild and crazy who-cares-about-the-consequences-let’s-try-something-new storytelling instead of sex.

It got a little weird, though. Remember that one scene I shared on WIPpet Wednesday with the blood and the cutting and the burning blood on hot rocks? I wrote something far gorier and more horrifying than that. It had to be that way, but it scares me a little that it came out of my head. Other people have written far more disturbing things, but still. There may have been a chunk of human flesh in a bowl on a counter. I say “may” because I don’t feel like reading it over yet. Nasty stuff. Necessary, but nasty.

I do like where this is going, though, and I’ve discovered another thing I really like: not having a minimum word count goal.

WHEEEEEE!

I’m never sending this out to try for traditional publication. If it works out and people want it, maybe self-published as an e-book, but then it doesn’t matter so much whether it’s a solid 80,000 words, does it? Novellas are totally kosher, as long as you warn people and price appropriately. And I don’t know whether it’ll even go that far. Maybe I’ll write it and lock it away forever and ever and ever. The possibilities are mind-boggling when you have fewer rules to worry about. That said, subplots are already trying to sneak in and there’s a lot of story to go, so who knows?

I can write my own story in a genre where people can already pretty much get whatever they want. I can set it in a place I love, but that’s not exactly glamorous and popular with readers.* I can mix comedy with the horror and romance with the mystery and say “screw you, genre divisions!”

It’s a good thing. There’s no guarantee that it’s going to keep going well, but that’s OK, too.

It’s a vacation. If everything that happens in Vegas needs to stay in Vegas, I’m fine with that, too.

Hope you’re all having a great weekend, wherever you are!

*It totally should be, but I’m biased.


Off My Meds… kinda

*runs around screaming*

Aah, but sadly, it’s nothing that fun or crazy. All that’s happened is that I’m trying to get down to a lower dose of antidepressants. Cutting it in half, in fact (though not cutting the pills themselves… that’s a no-no with this one).

Have you ever talked to a doctor about Depression? I always have a hard time not laughing at them. There are certain questions they have to ask you about your mood, etc. When they get to the ones about thoughts of suicide or self-harm, they always look at me like I’m a dangerous animal. Maybe not a tiger, but definitely a mangy raccoon that may or may not have rabies. They approach cautiously, gently, and very apprehensively. All of them. It’s kind of adorable.

When I mentioned it last week, my doctor looked at me like I was asking her for a referral to have my nose grafted onto my forehead. Things have been going well. Really well. I feel good, I’m sleeping well for the first time in years, my brain is functioning on many levels (even if my memory is still crap), I’m getting writing done, though I still can’t concentrate on anything that doesn’t interest me. Why would I want to change anything?

Because I don’t like being on more medication than I have to be. My body is sensitive to a lot of chemicals: MSG and aspartame give me headaches, and I’ve had to switch meds several times because of nasty side-effects. I don’t think I’m suffering now, but who knows? Maybe I’ll feel better once I adjust. I’ve been told by several doctors that I’ll probably never not need something. I have Depression, I’ve learned that needing medication for that is no more shameful than someone with diabetes needing insulin (this seems to be the go-to comparison), it’s part of my brain chemistry, runs in my family, all of that. That doesn’t mean I want to be on more than I need to be.

It’s not an easy adjustment. Missing a dose leaves me feeling cloudy-headed and muddled, and today, after four days of half-doses, I’m experiencing the same thing. I’m moving at regular speed, but my brain is processing everything around me in slow-motion. I feel like I’m sitting inside of my head looking out through my eyes. I can’t focus on editing; those words won’t come. I did that WIPpet Wednesday thing after one reduced dose, and that was OK; I wrote 6,000 words on it yesterday (and I owe the house and my kids an apology for kind of letting chaos reign while I did). I guess letting new ideas flow is easier right now than perfecting the ones I’ve seen a hundred times already. But I’m not in pain, and so far my mood isn’t crashing. Well, I’m feeling a bit down this morning (Friday). It’s partly because of that, but partly because of a simmering stew of other factors, including the fact that I forgot about Ike’s last KinderStart class.*

So why now? Because I’ve been getting more exercise, and they say that’s as good for depression as antidepressants are. I can’t get out with Jack every day, but we do pretty well, working around AJ’s work schedule and the weather. If we get an elliptical for the basement, even better. I think the exercise is doing a lot for my mental health (darn them for being right, I hate sweating!), and I want to see if it holds up without as much pharmaceutical support as it’s been getting. I’m trying to eat better, but that’s hard sometimes. The days are getting longer, and sunlight helps. There’s no perfect time to try this, but now seems better than January would have been. *shhudder*

I’m going to keep writing, even if editing my beloved primary WIP has to be put on hold until my head is de-muzzified, one way or another. Writing helps as much as the exercise does, but it’s harder to do when I’m feeling all stupid-like.  I’ll keep going with those vampire types, just for fun. I’m excited about the club, the food-people (better name pending),  Shivva and Trixie’s first assignment, the bad guys who are just SO persuasive about their cause, and the possibility that one of these young ladies isn’t going to stay true to hers… It’s just a jumbled mess of ideas right now, but it’s been a while since I really explored something new, and the excitement might keep me going through the tough days.

I’m also going to get outside more with the boys; we’re starting a vegetable garden, and I want to get them out to the walking trails when the snow is all gone from down there. I’m going to read more. I might need to sleep more, but I’m not going to let it become an escape.

TL;DR – I apologize in advance if things get weird around here in the next few weeks.

Er… weirder 🙂

20130502-213019.jpg

…but at least I don’t feel like he looks.

*It was only an hour or so, less than once a month on an irregular schedule. I don’t do well with irregular schedules. I feel like a bad mom. 😦


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