JAILBREAK

Some time during the night of July 16-17, 2023, four cats escaped from my house.

(For the record, we have five cats. One of them is allowed to go outside. She’s the only one who stayed in.)

It was a daring prison break involving both luck (someone left a basement window open and unattended) and skill (one of the cats has figured out how to hook a claw into the screen and pop it out).

I can only imagine their excitement. What I can know for sure is that I was VERY groggy when my husband woke me up at 3 AM with his report, and I was still half asleep when the hunt began.

Two of the convicts—er, cats—returned with little fuss. Rorschach (pictured below on a quieter day) turned himself in and George let me catch him easily.

Minnie and Fred, however, were nowhere to be seen.

So this is the story of how I camped out in a backyard gazebo overnight because cats.

It wasn’t too shabby, actually. I dragged my mattress out, brought pillows and blankets (I mean, I like camping, but if you’re within mattress-dragging distance why would you not?), and settled in to…

…to definitely not sleep. The air was pleasantly cool, but I had cats to worry about and the mosquitoes are pretty relentless when your back yard is a part-time swamp.

Fred fell for the bait and I had the poor gentleman in custody within the hour.

Minnie was less cooperative. I dozed for an hour and then spent my morning coaxing her out of a tangle of trees, then reminding her that she’s a tame creature who didn’t actually have to run away every time I approached her.

Some of my time was also spent making the gazebo a comfortable, shady place to sit when I wasn’t busy scrambling up a steep hill hauling cat food and water to leave as offerings outside of Minnie’s hideout. This involved a very loud floral bedsheet that’s probably older than me. Surprise glamping trips with spider roommates demand attention to the details.

I may have been a little sleep deprived when I made my decor decisions, but I stand by them.

The whole thing ended with a belly rub and me carrying Minnie back into the house like a wee baby, which I assume is how most wayward criminals are apprehended.

The cats are all recovering from their adventures in the most dramatic fashion, and all is well.

As for me, I kind of think the “galzebo” could be the new “she shed.” Definitely will not be pondering this idea when I should be working. *cough*