Well, well, well! Welcome to wonderful WIPpet Wednesday, where we wish to… not bother you with nutty alliterations. Not familiar with the rules? Just post a passage from your progressively perfecting… wonderful writing… arrgh!
…that relates to the date in some way. Don’t forget to check out the other offerings for today and feel free to join in! It’s super fun. Thank you to K.L. Schwengel, as always, for hosting.
Seventeen lines (on my new, wider computer screen– whee!) from chapter 5, so much earlier in the story than some of the others I’ve posted. For those just joining us, Aquila is a rather unusual eagle.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to continue re-writes. Those horses ain’t going to steal themselves…
I was still asleep early on my fourth day at Stone Ridge when someone slammed open the door to my rooms, thundered across the wood floor into my bedroom and sailed through the air, landing on top of me with a loud cry of, “get up, get up, get up!”
I grabbed the heavy feather pillow from under my head and used it to whack the intruder several times before she shrieked and bounced back onto the floor. I groaned when she ripped the blankets off of the bed and flopped down beside me, out of breath and laughing. “Come on, sleepyface,” she said, grinning. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”
I glared at my cousin and tried to look angry. “’Lecia, I wouldn’t be happy to see Prince Charming himself if he woke me up by jumping on me.”
Felicia considered that for a moment, then started giggling. “That might not be so bad, you know.”
“Filth,” I muttered, and grinned back at her. That was the problem with Felicia; she was always so damned happy and funny that I couldn’t stay mad at her, even when I wanted to.
She rolled over and stared at me with a mock-serious expression. “We have much to discuss. But first, get thine self to a washing chamber and clean thy teeth. Thou art offending my delicate sensibilities.”
“Says the girl who smells like the horse that brought here here,” I replied, and rolled out of bed before she could smack me. I hurried through the sitting room, but saw no sign of Aquila. I couldn’t blame him for disappearing when that strange, noisy person burst in. I leaned out the window and came face-to-beak with him sitting in the cherry tree. “Sorry,” I whispered. He didn’t look impressed.
Felicia was looking at the books on my shelf when I returned. She took a seat in an armchair with her legs crossed under her, and I sat on the floor with my back to her. “I met Robert,” I said. “He seems nice.”
“I know. I’m not here to talk about him. Yet.” Felicia pulled a brush out of her bag and went to work on my hair. She’d treated me like a doll since the first time she came to visit me at Stone Ridge, and I almost never complained. It was relaxing.
“I thought not.” I’d known as soon as I saw her why she was there. I might have temporarily forgotten about the letters, but my mother hadn’t. She’d sent someone to remind me.
April 17th, 2013 at 6:24 am
Aquila? Can’t wait to find out more about him. I would have had to club Happy Morning Person with something more substantial than a pillow. 😉
April 17th, 2013 at 6:25 am
I know! But we get into trouble when we use fists against family, so we work with what’s available. And to be fair, feather pillows can be quite substantial. 🙂
April 17th, 2013 at 8:01 am
Love this! I’m so glad you’re writing this book! You have wonderful imagery. And yes, I’m also curious about Aquila.
April 17th, 2013 at 8:02 am
He’s the one she was talking to about the garden a few weeks ago. 🙂
April 17th, 2013 at 9:53 am
Yes, I remember. He’s very intriguing!
April 17th, 2013 at 10:53 am
Well done pulling me into the story. I was content to keep on reading, then abruptly nothing. Heeeeey! 😉 Okay, but you will have to forgive a Jae for having some nitpicks, although I realize this is probably a rough draft. But I like Kate stories and I want them to shine. “I was still asleep early on my fourth day at…” Boring, passive voice. Anything that starts I was, consider reworking. Something like: “Someone slammed open the door to my rooms, tearing me from the first decent night’s sleep (or some other descriptor of why your MC doesn’t want to be torn from sleep)” then continuing on as is. In the second graf Felicia is already laughing and then grins. I’d cut the grin. By laughing I think we’d assume her face has a smile or grin on it. Same in the third graf with glared and angry. Sort of redundant. I don’t think you need the “replied” attribution in graf 7, since we know who’s talking, nor any in graf 8.
Absolutely loved Felicia’s bit about delicate sensibilities. Awesome dialogue! And the MC’s retort about her smelling like a horse. 😀 Well done! Hooray for WIPpet Wednesday!
April 17th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
“Thou art offending my delicate sensibilities.” You’ll have to read Regi’s WIP today too if you haven’t already. I guess there’s a Shakespearean bug in the air or something. 🙂 Nice job! I like the joke about Prince Charming jumping on her too.
April 17th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
I did read that, and thought it was funny. 🙂
April 17th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Hmmm. Being woken up suddenly. Not sure I’d be happy either!
April 17th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
The fact that the person doing the jumping was also in an insanely good mood… Great good conveying the affection between the two as well, and the letters sound intriguing!
April 17th, 2013 at 8:18 pm
D’aww, I love Lecia already! She’s adorably sweet, and their dialogue was awesome! Though I don’t know if I’d even be keen on Prince Charming waking me up like that, either. XD
April 17th, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Loved the dialogue and great opening image of Felicia flying through the air and landing on her cousin.
April 18th, 2013 at 6:25 pm
“But first, get thine self to a washing chamber and clean thy teeth. Thou art offending my delicate sensibilities.”
I relate to this passage on so many levels. Love it!
April 18th, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Very cute! Made me think of my relationship with my cousin, only we’re reversed and I’m the annoyingly cheerful morning person. 😉 Now I want to know more about those letters…