Welcome again to WIPpet Wednesday, where we share a portion of a work in progress that relates in some way to the day’s date.
Today is 5/15/13. What shall we do?
I’ve decided not to share any gory dead bodies with you this week, even though it’s part of what I’ve been working on. You can return to your regularly scheduled breakfasts/lunches/whatever (still sorry about that…). Here’s 15 paragraphs (because dialogue) from a scene that takes place at the top of Cabot Tower. I wish I could share the end of this scene, but rules are rules, b’ys. Shivva and Daniel are in the middle of a training session, trying to open her up to the non-physical senses she (as a vampire) should be able to use. “The teenagers” are a pair of kids in the car in the parking lot, and have thus far been almost ignored by the blood-suckers on top of the tower. Shivva has already lost one fight (and been thrown off of the tower in the process). Good times.
Cabot Tower (photo via Wikipedia)
–
“Let’s try it. Sneak up on me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that works. Close your eyes. I may or may not be back.”
He drops off of the edge of the tower like it was three feet to the ground instead of fifty. His shoes hit the ground with a loud thwack, but his movements that follow are silent. I close my eyes and breathe in the salt-fresh air of this place that’s become my home. Waves mumble over the rocks far below me. My body is silent, not even a heartbeat to distract my ears.
A minute later a sharp rapping noise splits the air, and Daniel yells, “Hey! Leave room for the holy spirit, kids!” I snort, imagining the teenagers in the car jumping apart. That, or giving him the finger. So that places him a short walk down a slight slope, downwind. I won’t smell him as he approaches. I won’t hear him, either; Daniel moves like a cat when he wants to.
I focus inward, feeling for him from a part of myself that’s beyond human senses. It’s not his physical presence I need to be aware of, but that part of him that wants to harm me. Specific markers like that are always easiest, especially when dealing with strangers. Malicious intent approaches, clear and deadly. Behind me, moving to the side. When he strikes out, I’m ready. I roll away, up on my feet just before I hit the low wall. He doesn’t pursue.
“Good. Too easy, but good.”
That’s the only kind of praise Daniel gives, so I’m satisfied with it. He’s right, anyway. It was too easy. “You know, it would be much more challenging with a trainer who didn’t actually want to maim and destroy me.”
He smirks. If there were days when he went easy on me, I certainly don’t remember them. “Stop being a wuss, Shiv. That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all of that.”
“Well, I’m dead. Does that make me invincible, or the weakest thing ever?”
“Moot point. Try again. I’m going to make it harder.”
“That’s what she said.” I position myself in the center of the roof and close my eyes, and he disappears. Really. I lose all sense of him as soon as he’s gone. It’s disconcerting, but I square my shoulders and wait. He’ll be back. Even if he changes his plan of attack, I’ll feel him coming. Punching, kicking, pulling my hair, tossing me off of the roof again…
Cold lips press onto mine, and strong arms pull my shocked body close. Hands tangle in my hair. Cold hands. My mind explodes in confusion. How? I should pull away, but my body betrays me, acting on its own just as it did when I blocked his attack earlier. My mouth opens under his, and the most incredible feeling washes over me as I rise up onto my toes to push myself farther into him. The world around me stops moving. And then he’s gone, pulling back, leaving me to stumble forward into the space where he stood a moment ago.
He’s got that cocky smile on his face. “Your methods are flawed, dear student. You assume too much.”
“That’s not fair!” It’s all I can do to not stomp my foot in a childish fit of confusion and anger. “Nobody who actually wants to hurt me is going to sneak up to kiss me!”
“No?” I barely dodge the kick that would have sent me over the edge again. “Well, there’s your lesson for tonight.”
–
Want to join in WIPpet Wednesday? Here’s the link. Have a gander at the other lovely works posted, share the comment love, and add your own. Yes, it is that easy. After all…
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ROW80 Update:
Eh. 1,380 words on Sunday, none on Monday (though I did manage to make a stuffed cat out of an argyle sock, yay me), 200 on Tuesday. My brain isn’t able to focus right now. I don’t know whether it’s from the change in my meds or just a normal fluctuation in my mental workings. Either way, booooooooo.
Already accomplished 4 blog posts (including this one), plus one scheduled. Yay.
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disregard the prologue 
May 15th, 2013 at 10:39 am
Can you please explain to me again WHY you’re not sure you can make it as a writer???? With a scene like that, girl, I can only shake my head at the question. Wooo. Love that sneak attack. 😉
May 15th, 2013 at 1:19 pm
Aww, warm fuzzy feelings for me. Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
And no, I won’t try to explain it, but you are helping my confidence.
May 15th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
Good! Kate, you’re a natural born writer.
May 15th, 2013 at 10:45 am
That is a great snippet from your WiP-I totally want to read more! *whines* As for ROW80-don’t worry, I’m sure your focus will come back! Mine disappears on me too sometimes (like it did the last 2 weeks. Maybe it’s this time of year for everyone’s focus to take a break? 🙂 ) Either way, I’m sure you’ll get back in the swing of things soon. Good luck with your goals this week!
May 15th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
Aww, thanks! I thought this was going to be a throw-away project, but a few people are asking for more. Guess I should finish it, at least. 🙂
I hope we both get back in the swing of things! Glad to know it’s not just me, though.
May 15th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
This is really good Kate. You’ve set the scene well and the way the two characters are interacting with each other is excellent. Loved the sexual tension too. 🙂
May 15th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Glad you liked it! It’s weird trying to create that tension between these characters…
May 15th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Ooh, loved the snippet. Very visual. 🙂 And sorry brain drain via the meds or whatever it is. I’m sure you’ll be back to the game in no time. Maybe I can look for your brain’s focus. *puts Reese’s pieces on the floor* Here focus! C’mon focus! Over here! *adds a few gummy bears for good measure and nods approvingly*
May 16th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
Hmm, the goodies are gone, and I wrote 1,300 words yesterday. The word sprints last night might have helped, but I’m sure it had more to do with the candy. Thanks!
May 16th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
lol, you’re welcome. Seems like Reese’s pieces is always good for attracting things. Oooh, 1,300 is very good!
May 16th, 2013 at 1:21 pm
I’ve had worse, that’s for sure! Exciting scenes always help. 🙂
May 15th, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Three reasons I loved your post. 1- no stomach churning (this go-around). 2 and 3- great movie pics! 🙂
May 16th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Glad you liked them. I couldn’t resist the BOOOOOOOO!
May 15th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
I’m loving this new WIP. The tension between the characters is evocative and well done and you really have an ear for dialogue. 🙂
May 16th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Thank you! I have a lot of fun with dialogue. I find action a lot harder!
May 15th, 2013 at 4:38 pm
I don’t know, Kate. Looks to me like you are a writer. You write, you tell stories, you create compelling characters…
Yep, looks like a writer to me. 😉
I love the way there is so much sexual tension here, and how it’s very clear that Daniel can turn on the emotional reactions like a valve. One very dangerous predator…
May 16th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
If only he was the most dangerous one in the story…
I do think I’m a writer, I just doubt my ability to make a living at it. I’m happy just being a writer, either way. Thank you for your lovely comment!
May 17th, 2013 at 12:32 am
Ah! I see what you mean… yeah, I doubt that part a lot too. Money can be a killer.
May 15th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
This extract simmers with sexual tension and the descriptions using all the senses are spot on. I really felt there in the scene with them, which was just great.
May 16th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
May 15th, 2013 at 5:47 pm
I am sincerely enjoying this. I love the sneaky kiss. Day-um, girl. And then she wants to fight it but ends up giving in. This is good stuff. Keep going. I want more.
May 16th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Okee-dokee. 🙂
May 15th, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Daniel is so not playing fair, but I agree with the others. This is awesomesauce. Please, please finish it and pick me as a beta reader!
May 15th, 2013 at 9:51 pm
Ooh, my first volunteer beta reader for this one! You’re on.
May 15th, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Yay!
May 15th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
Sneak a-kiss! Cute!
May 16th, 2013 at 1:25 am
I’m pretty sure that the fact that I always immediately like characters like Daniel is a problem, but… clearly I have a type. Loved the interactions in this scene, particularly the sneak-kiss at the end and how Daniel brushes it off afterwards.
May 16th, 2013 at 1:00 pm
I don’t think it’s a problem as long as you understand the difference between falling for them in books and actually dealing with them in real life. I have a few male characters I adore as characters, but who I’d hate to deal with in real life (in my writing and reading, TV watching, etc.)
Daniel’s not so bad, really, if you consider the fact that he’s been dead for almost 10 years, is responsible for whipping Shivva and Trixie into shape, and isn’t supposed to show (living) human emotions… has to be tough for a guy.
May 20th, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Oh, the tension! The suspense!
As far as the distracted minds, I’ve come to see it as a matter of ebbs and flows. Have to take input in to create.
Now, I just ride along with the ebbs, and trust that the flows will catch me up and spin me around, in turn…
Looking so forward to MORE!!!
June 20th, 2013 at 8:11 am
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February 5th, 2014 at 9:35 am
[…] (vampire) and Daniel (also a vampire, who you might remember from here and here) just fed at the club, and are looking for somewhere to be alone […]
March 24th, 2014 at 11:08 am
[…] and maybe a little undead sexytimes and fighting, who likes the WIP snippets I shared here and here and here… comment or drop me a line at kate.sparkes (at) live.ca. I’m just looking for […]