No, not me. I’m not giving up. Not yet. But there comes a time in every story (or at least, there should) where a character reaches a point when he or she is ready to give up, when things can’t get any worse, when they’d do anything to get out of a situation.
I was just revising this last week, and it’s still wandering forlornly around in my brain during quiet moments. This is Aren again, a guy who never expected to care this much about anything. He’s done something stupid, and he and Rowan are both paying for it.
Thirteen sentences from chapter 26 (curse you, chapter 26! And you too, 27, I’m still watching you). Today is 17/7/2013… 1+7+7-2-0=13.
Isn’t WIPpet math the best?
This is all I’m going to give away from this part of the story, because we’re (obviously) getting into spoiler territory. I like to think the book would be enjoyable even if you knew the ending, but why ruin the fun, right? Sorry I left something out here…
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I’d exhausted my supply of magic in finishing *wee spoiler*, but that didn’t leave me completely helpless. I curled my body around hers, wrapped my cloak around both of us, and channelled what magic I could take from the land into producing heat in my own skin. Still the cold night air pressed in around us, greedy, stealing everything I created.
My people know a number of deities, the great unnamed Goddess and a seemingly limitless pantheon of lesser gods. It had always seemed to me that they’d shown little concern for me over the course of my life, and for the most part I’d shown them the same courtesy. Now, though, I closed my eyes, and I begged. Get us through this night. Let me help her to safety. Keep Severn away, and I’ll do anything. I’ll change. If you demand it, I’ll go back and face whatever I now owe to my family. Just let her come back, let her live. I didn’t even know who I was praying to, only that I needed to hold onto those thoughts to keep me from going mad.
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Man, I need to post something less depressing soon. Where did that mer-people party get to?
And should that be “whom” in the last sentence? I suck at whom.
So anyway, if you’ve been around for a while, you know the rules, and you know you can join right in any time. We don’t bite. We might cookie-dough-and-glitter you (this is the new tar-and-feather, it’s much more fun), but that’s about the worst you’ll get from the WIPpeteers. Post an excerpt from a work in progress that relates to today’s date, add your blog link through the linkie you’ll find at My Random Muse, and be sure to drop by and comment on other people’s stuff. Seriously, join us. Best part of my week.
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#ROW80 Update
OK, we need a Round of Words update today, don’t we? Man, Wednesdays are busy around here!
Writing: Trying to get 4 chapters a day ready for beta readers. Actually, I should be doing that right now… Other goals are good, see you later!
(Oh, and I’m adding the goal of visiting three or more ROW80 blogs every Sunday and Wednesday… since I’m doing that anyway. Looking for more updates? Here’s the link!)
disregard the prologue 
July 17th, 2013 at 9:14 am
I love the way you incorporate the magic seamlessly into your world. It seems as natural as breathing. The character voice is also really clear and distinctive.
July 18th, 2013 at 8:52 am
For Aren, it is as natural as breathing. Glad that comes through. 🙂
July 17th, 2013 at 11:24 am
A dark night of the soul!!! Cool!!! This is very compelling. Love how he wraps his cloak and his body with such tenderness. Very vivid.
To answer your question, if you were writing a research paper, yes whom would be correct. “I didn’t even know to whom I was praying.” But see how stiff that sounds? You’re writing from the perspective of a desperate man, who probably wouldn’t care about grammar at this point.
July 17th, 2013 at 11:44 am
He generally has better grammar than I do, though. 😉
Thanks. I’ll probably leave it “who,” but on first draft “whom” actually fit the character better… This is why I hate niggly little things like that!
July 17th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
“they’d shown little concern for me over the course of my life, and for the most part I’d shown them the same courtesy.”
I love that line! Deism is pretty awesome, huh? Much more hopeful than the whole gnostic “god is crazy and sort of hates you” philosophy I’ve sort of found myself in lately. Of course, looking around us, what is more likely? That the gods don’t care much for us or that the gods sort of like to make us squirm?
I just calls ’em as I sees ’em.
July 18th, 2013 at 8:56 am
Given only those two choices I’d have to go with the not caring; I think the pain in our lives comes from other people using their free will to be assholes, not from a sadistic deity. Certainly seems to work that way for this character, anyway. 🙂
July 18th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Ha! I wasn’t trying to be so binary. I guess my comment was more autobiography rather than theology. 🙂
July 18th, 2013 at 9:45 am
lol- I picked up on that! I do find it an interesting question, though… and I don’t impose my own views onto my characters, so it’s fun to explore that a bit once in a while.
July 18th, 2013 at 10:12 am
It is. I find myself obsessed sometimes with ideas and world-views. I think I took too many philosophy classes or something. I’d like to say that I’m an objective observer, but i do have a tendency to make these issues intensely personal. It’s colored a lot of my writing lately…
July 18th, 2013 at 10:14 am
There are no objective observers. 🙂
July 18th, 2013 at 10:16 am
This is true, but sometimes people are less… emotionally involved? … in certain pursuits than others. Anyway, I hope my explorations produce some interesting stories.
July 17th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
Love this Kate. I really get a sense of the burden Aren feels and it’s lovely the way he wants to protect Rowan.
July 17th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
You do such a great job with imagery. I feel like I’m always able to picture where they are in one sense or another when reading your stories snippets. Nice work!
July 17th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Thanks, Jae. Positive comments from you always mean so much. 🙂
July 17th, 2013 at 2:18 pm
As depressing as it is, I think this may be my new favorite Kate S. WIPpet. 🙂 His tenderness toward Rowan is very touching, as is his desperate prayer.
July 17th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
And that is some amazing math right there! You’ve just opened up a whole new realm of possibilities for me. I wish wordpress would turn my little wicked smiley into an actual one, but an ordinary emoticon will have to do. >-)
July 17th, 2013 at 5:20 pm
Aww, shucks… Glad you liked it. 🙂
July 17th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Very vivid, very telling. Another outstanding excerpt. I love that it paints the caring, passionate side of Aren and his willingness to sacrifice to make it right.
July 18th, 2013 at 8:57 am
How far he’s come since last week… 😉
July 17th, 2013 at 10:53 pm
I’m kind of flailing a bit here because I love situations like this where the characters are desperate. I’m really feeling his helplessness right now.
July 18th, 2013 at 8:57 am
So… hooray and also I’m sorry? 🙂
July 18th, 2013 at 2:38 am
Yes, technically whom, but who really talks like that? I like the humanity and weakness portrayed here, as well as the tenderness combined in it. Nice work!
July 18th, 2013 at 5:40 am
Vivid and beautiful imagery despite the darkness of the scene. Big thumbs up from me!
July 18th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Very beautiful tender scene! I’m curious to see if Rowan does live, and if Aren keeps his promises to whatever deity he was praying to
July 18th, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Awesome pleading with the Dieties there. We’ve all done it, eh? And you have your work cut out for you! Keep up the good work and never say fie.
~Just Jill
July 18th, 2013 at 6:53 pm
But I want to say “fie.” Fie is a phenomenal word, and seriously underused these days. 🙂
And yep, been there…
July 19th, 2013 at 2:30 am
I love this, and found it tender and deepening, rather than depressing (but then, I tend toward optimism, so I’m betting everyone makes it through the night a little warmer and wiser, maybe, than they were…).
A lovely and bittersweet snippet, and I second ReGi’s comment about the math!
Speaking of math, I owe you thanks for posting this to the ROW80 linky on a 2, so that I could visit your WIPpet, and give you your sponsor visit, all at once. Great job on the goals, and I’ll be waiting for the chance to buy the book and find out how Aren and Rowan make it through the night. =D
July 19th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
I love dark and depressing!! lol. I love the internal religious/faith stuff that’s going on here.
July 20th, 2013 at 2:15 am
This excerpt took me to a character called Moirin by one of my favorite authors, Jacqueline Carey. She paints wonderful description of character and setting and emotion with her words, and you did the same. I was drawn right in to the moment, and to me, I really like stories that pull emotion from me. It doesn’t have to be funny or lighthearted all the time. I like emotional plots; after all, emotion is what drives us. This was a great excerpt!
July 20th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Thank you! I’ve read two of her books, but don’t know that character.
July 22nd, 2013 at 6:53 am
[…] WIPpet Wednesday – Giving Up and #ROW80 Update […]
July 23rd, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Danger in your WIPpet! And promising Gods ish is never good. Especially promises you’d loathe to keep!
(Sorry it took me so long to comment.)
Glad your goals on on track!