Just to be clear: I friggin’ love sneezing. I sneeze big, and I’m not ashamed of that. I like the floopy-headedness that follows a good nosesplosion, and the way it sometimes leads to feeling less stuffy, even if only for a few minutes.
But this week, man… I’ve got this cold, and I’ve had a runny nose since Friday. It’s been kind of miserable, but I’ve been keeping my chin up (if only so that the drip stays post-nasal). I’ve been pretty cheerful about the whole thing. I try not to feel sorry for myself about a little cold, even if it makes me feel like my brain is bathing in snot, you know?
You’re welcome.
But now there’s this tickle way up in my right nostril that WON’T DIE. No matter how many times it makes me sneeze, or how hard, it just comes back. It was fun at first, because WHEE, SNEEZLES! Ha ha, cute.
Not so much anymore.
Guys, it’s like those people who have spontaneous orgasms all the time. You hear about it, and you’re like “Sign me up for THAT disorder!” and you probably high-five yourself because that was super clever. Yeah, it sounds great… until you’re the one stuck exploding five times in the middle of Walmart, and everyone is staring at you, and IT’S NOT ALL THAT FUN ANYMORE.
There is literally no point to this post. I just kind of wanted to touch base and gross you all out a little, because I love you.
You can thank you when I’m clear-headed enough to understand you.
disregard the prologue 
February 18th, 2014 at 6:00 pm
This was a laugh and smile that I really needed. Thanks. 🙂
February 18th, 2014 at 8:41 pm
You’re welcome. It’s always nice when others can find joy in my misery. 😉
February 18th, 2014 at 8:50 pm
I’ve got a chest cold, so I have the constant hacking. I think I’d prefer the sneezing. Trade?
February 18th, 2014 at 8:51 pm
No, sir. I much prefer sneezing. Coughing is painful and leaves me with no delightful floopy-headedness. Sorry you’re dealing with that, though. Hope you feel better soon.
February 18th, 2014 at 8:52 pm
Me too. As long as I don’t pass it on to the toddler, I’ll be fine.
February 18th, 2014 at 8:53 pm
The horror! One of my kids is pretty good to deal with when he’s sick, but the other… *shudder*
February 18th, 2014 at 8:59 pm
This one runs around like nothing is wrong and has to be watched for signs of trouble.
February 18th, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Ha ha … that was funny. Sorry to laugh at your discomfort. Hope you get better soon.
February 18th, 2014 at 8:40 pm
Thanks. At least I’m not coughing…
February 18th, 2014 at 7:38 pm
I’ll try to put this delicately…a few months ago I got a light cold. The kind where clear stuff just drips out of your nose? Then it tightened up as the cold went away and I seemed to get stuffier as I got better, if that makes sense. Anyway, at one point I blew my nose as hard as I could and cleared my nasal passages for the first time in weeks and felt pure elation. I’ve thought about making myself sick again just to try and feel that once more.
February 18th, 2014 at 8:40 pm
That might have been the best comment ever.
February 18th, 2014 at 7:43 pm
Leave that at home when you come to visit!
February 18th, 2014 at 8:39 pm
I’ll do my best!
February 18th, 2014 at 8:43 pm
My daughter started showing signs of a cold yesterday. I’m really scared of getting one, as it passes from humans to hamsters and my hamster has just developed a new habit. She won’t eat the food in her bowl unless I had feed it to her. It is cute and perplexing all at once. So, both of you need to keep your cooties from me. And I do hope you feel better soon.
PS- It takes a wee bit more than that to gross me out. Keep trying. 😉
February 18th, 2014 at 8:45 pm
Anything that would gross you out would probably drive other readers away, so I might let you win. 😉
Hope you stay healthy. Your hamster sounds adorable!
February 18th, 2014 at 10:03 pm
As someone who is allergic to air, (well it seems like it sometimes) I can sympathize with your spontaneous explosions. The fun part is to see everyone back away for fear of catching bubonic plague.
February 18th, 2014 at 10:26 pm
That drawing is now burned into my head forever…not sure how I feel about that. 😉 I just got over a horrible cold recently and I totally know what you mean – hope you get better soon! Also, this was the best “I’m feeling sick” post I’ve ever seen – if there was an award for that category you would totally deserve it.
February 18th, 2014 at 10:50 pm
I accept your imaginary award. Thank you. 🙂
February 19th, 2014 at 3:56 pm
Man, everyone has a cold!!! I hope you feel better soon, Kate. And I had to laugh at that drawing!!!
February 26th, 2014 at 12:24 pm
Until I read the opening lines of this post, I never thought about it that way … but I love to sneeze too!
February 26th, 2014 at 12:26 pm
I kind of miss it now that it’s over.