So, Elf on the Shelf. I’m going to be honest here: that tiny bastard scares the bejeezus out of me.
Have you seen him? This little toy elf that you buy (I don’t know where, I assume from Hell’s gift shop) and set up every night in random places because… I think the kids are supposed to think he’s alive and reporting back to Santa.
That’s the theory. I think it’s really an excuse for moms to play with toys. No judgement here- I’m the proud owner of… one or two… *ahem*
If you haven’t seen him, google it. I’ll wait. No, not the cute squishy one, the plastic-headed one that looks like he’s going to consume your soul.
He watches you while you sleep. He thinks it’s romantic.
Look at those eyes. That little fucker KNOWS things.
So anyway, I don’t want one of those, because my dreams are surreal enough without adding something to the mix that’s clearly food for night mares. But I do want in on the fun. My kids do, too; they’re still young enough to really enjoy a little Santa magic, and a doll who’s buddies with Santa sounded like a great idea to them.
Hello, spare Monster High Ghoulia!
She lost the glasses and traded her tarty dress for something a bit cozier, and the boys named her Amy Snow. I know, the outfit looks like Cinderella’s hand-me-downs, but it took me three hours to make.
Sad, right?
Point is, the kids love her, we’re going to have a lot of fun with her, and she doesn’t give me the heebie-jeebies or whisper in my ear that I should stab things.**
I’ll post some of her adventures here. For now, here’s Amy checking out the new decorations:
** I just assume that the elf does this.
disregard the prologue 
November 30th, 2013 at 4:15 pm
Reblogged this on disregard the prologue and commented:
Amy Snow will be returning soon! For anyone who missed it the first time around, here’s why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf, and an introduction to the lovely Miss Snow, who does the job for us.
(She has nicer clothes now. Yay!)
November 30th, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Ha ha ha … oh my. Sounds like fun around the Sparkes household. I’m with you. That little elf is creepy. I think it’s going to haunt quite a few young minds in the future … scary. Looking forward to more adventures of Amy Snow.
November 30th, 2013 at 4:31 pm
I think I already like Amy Snow she looks as if she might really enjoy life. I hope that she is as nice on the inside as the outside. You can never tell these days. I too look forward to her adventures.
November 30th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
She was nice last year. I hope she stays that way. Some of those elves make horrible messes in people’s houses!
November 30th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
Sorry…but even in new clothes she looks a little creepy.
November 30th, 2013 at 5:12 pm
Well, she DID start off as a zombie…
December 2nd, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Amy was a zombie? Ha ha!!!!! That’s so hilarious! Is that why her arms are so skinny? The new outfit gives her a respectability.
December 2nd, 2013 at 4:52 pm
She was a monster high doll- “daughter of the zombie.” They all have skinny arms like that, but you’re right- it does suit that theme. 🙂
Wait until you see the new outfit she has coming in the mail! 😀
September 9th, 2014 at 9:21 am
[…] – Ooh, can’t help there. My Amy Snow is probably not the one you wanted. Hope you liked pictures of our zombie elf, though! Zombie… not […]