Once upon a time, the Empress called the finest seamstress in the land to her chambers.
“I require a dress,” the Empress announced. “One that shall be the talk of the land. For it is nearly my birthday, and I wish to be the centre of attention.”
“Of course,” the seamstress said, and curtseyed.
Days later, the Empress tried on her new dress. “Fantastic!” she cried. “The white and gold really complement my hair.”
Her servants exchanged nervous glances. “It’s blue and black,” whispered the chambermaid.
The royal toilet-flusher hushed her. “Never contradict the Empress,” she said, but the Empress heard.
“What is this nonsense?” she asked. “The dress is white and gold. It’s clear as my porcelain skin.”
“My bad,” the chambermaid replied.
“Aah, yes,” the seamstress said. “You see, only the wisest and most worthy will see the dress as white and gold. It appears blue and black to the low. Both are terribly flattering, I assure you.”
The Empress hit the streets. Within minutes the city was in turmoil. Those who saw blue and black hurled boots at those who saw white and gold, while ‘team white and gold’ jeered and insulted their enemies’ grandmothers. Families were torn in two. Life-long loyalties were destroyed. Novelty tee shirt merchants and meme-smiths made a fortune.
A pair of llamas broke free from the Royal Llamary and raced through the streets.
Eventually the dust cleared. Grudging apologies echoed through the streets, and a special lost-and-found was set up for boots (though not for insulted grandmothers).
And when the dust cleared, the people discovered that the seamstress had cleared out the royal treasury during the commotion.
She is now a professional celebrity with four million Instagram followers.
THE END
disregard the prologue 
February 27th, 2015 at 5:39 pm
I was just giggling like an idiot reading that. You’re the best.
February 27th, 2015 at 5:49 pm
*bows*
February 27th, 2015 at 5:50 pm
I love it!
February 27th, 2015 at 6:19 pm
I love it too! It’s so hard to keep up on all this crap that’s blowing up the internet.
February 27th, 2015 at 6:35 pm
It’s been a weird 24 hours!
February 27th, 2015 at 6:37 pm
That was great!
February 27th, 2015 at 6:54 pm
An excellent parable for our times. 🙂
It seems I missed the original brouhaha about the mystery-color dress (for which I am grateful), but I signed in to Facebook this morning and discovered that people normally to be counted on for posts about writing horror or mocking anti-vaxxers or sharing cute cat memes were, instead, laughing at or expressing annoyance at some ‘OMG, what color is this dress?!??’ post that made the internet explode…
February 27th, 2015 at 7:00 pm
Yeah, I had no idea what was happening. I checked on my phone this morning and saw people talking about this dress that was clearly blue… and then I want to the kitchen and it was white. And then I needed a nap.
The escaped llamas were entertaining, though.
February 27th, 2015 at 7:03 pm
I just read your story and then listened to CBC and they’d ere talking about the dress. I then understood how significant your story was. Loved it.
February 28th, 2015 at 2:42 am
Why did I not think of this? This is the best thing to come out of the whole The Dress saga (which I’m really relieved has died as quickly as it came).
February 28th, 2015 at 5:16 am
Awesome… love the idea of a meme-smith in medieval times 😀