I sincerely apologize if anyone thinks it’s mean to laugh at “Engrish” (awkward translations). Please bear in mind that I don’t think it’s funny because I think “for’ners” are idiots, but because I know how difficult English is- think of it as a laugh of sympathy and understanding. Also, I imagine I’d do a lot worse if I was the one trying to translate from English into… well, any other language in all of ever.

It’s like the most surreal poetry than anyone ever didn’t mean to write.

Now that that’s out of the way, I found some amazing examples a while back at Rossy. Rossy’s a weird store. It’s kind of like Bi-Way used to be. Remember that? No? OK, Bargain Harold’s. Still no? Whatever, like a slightly-better-than-a-dollar-store. You can get name-brand toys there (and presumably other things, but why would I look at that stuff?), but the real entertainment value is in the knock-offs.

I hope you can read the fine print on these doll boxes. I enjoyed them. 🙂

^Yes, but is it new?

^ Um, “spread to deduce the series” sounds super sketchy in a way I don’t even begin to understand. Sorry, cross-eyed doll. Moving on…

^”Come to foppery quickly to me” is kind of a hard sales pitch to resist, don’t you think?

^OK, THAT I definitely want.

SOLD!