Category Archives: Engrish

The Greatest Find of Them All

We’ve had some fun here before with cheap toys I’ve found at bargain/dollar stores. Fakie ponies with stolen My Little Pony box art, Barbie rip-offs that look like drunken floozies, questionable propositions from Engrish packaging.

But nothing prepared me for this.

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Frans Tromers. Dark of the Moon.

Guys, seriously. FRANS TROMERS.

This is the single most glorious, not-a-#$@&-was-given-that-day, up-yours-trademark-holders, why-the-hell-not ripoffery I’ve witnessed since that pony with two generations of stolen Hasbro box art.

Frans wins the toy wars. He came home with me.

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That’s right. I own a mint in box Frans Tromer. I’m that cool.


Whole Lotta Beauty

Anybody know what time it is?

TOY TIME!

And this week we’ve got a whole lot of beauty for you. Why? Because…

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This is a beautiful and happiness world! Obviously.

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“The pretty girl
Very cute
Happy smile
They bring us happiness
Let us
Enjoy new fashion
Experience Fresh Feeling”

Well, they stole Barbie’s box art. I guess we couldn’t expect them to stretch beyond the beauty-as-happiness, smile-for-the- OH SWEET JUMPING ELEPHANTS, WHAT IS THAT THING?!

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I… I just… I don’t even…

Well, that went from beauty to unearthly creepiness in a heartbeat, didn’t it?

I’m going to go hide under the blankets on my bed and try to sleep that one off.

Ugh, forget it. She’s just going to haunt my dreams. Note to self: Never sleep again.

*shudder*

(Worried you might have missed an Engrish/Rossy post? Take a mosey on over here…)


From the “Boy Aisle” at Rossy…

Guys, the cars-and-trucks-and-action-figures aisle at Rossy… it’s just wrong on so many levels. And yet so very right…

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“Convulsion Enter” is going to be the title of my first foray into Erotica. Called it!

(“Luster Surface could be the heroine!)

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“Unbelievable Stimulation” will be the sequel. There will be plastic parts. Just FYI.


Engrish* and Rip-offs and Copyright Infringement, Oh My!

Here we go again! I’ve been collecting pictures every time we stop by Rossy, aka Fakie Central. I just haven’t been posting. Enjoy!

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Healthy new fashion! New concept of beauty! Sounds exciting right? Maybe a realistic body image, or…

OH DEAR LORD, LOOK AT HER LEGS.

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Apparently this healthy new fashion has no room for frivolities like knees and muscles. THESE THINGS MATTER NOT IN THE HEALTHY NEW FASHION!

WHY AM I YELLING?

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Stylish dolls series deserve most to collect!

Wow. Disney is going to slap a bitch (with a lawsuit, obviously). They’re not so keen on the whole copyright infringement thing, y’know?

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*headdesk* Now you’ve done it. You’ve stolen the font. THE SACRED DISNEY FONT.

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Does anyone else think it looks like the Princesses are experiencing problems with the water pressure in the Royal Showers? Their hair seems to be lacking in that unrealistic bounce and poof thing they usually have going on.

Let’s see what else is happening with this particular product…

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OMG THERE’RE TOTALLY 3FUNCTIONS, GUYS! 😀

I should wrap this up. There’s more for another time, but I need to sort through the BOUNTY OF PHOTOS to make sure I’m not re-posting anything you’ve all seen before. To finish up, let’s have a rip-off from another company– not Mattel or Disney this time, but Hasbro, makers of my beloved My Little Pony:

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*shudder*

Knock off toy and stolen box art from my least-favourite generation of ponies. I never would have thought they could be creepier than the Hasbro versions. I was mistaken.

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Aww, guys. She loves the collo. Loves it SO DAMN MUCH.

For anyone who can’t read it, that bottom portion reads: “Special Style- Design for the children all are fangled and in the high quality welcome you use our products.”

Well, as long as they’re all fangled… I’ll take one of each. Thanks.

*Yes, I use the term “Engrish” to cover badly-phrased translations from various countries rather than labelling them separately by origin. It’s just easier, and this seems to be the most widely-recognized term for the phenomenon. And no, I’m not mocking, though I do find it amusing, and I’m sure I’d do far worse if I had to translate something into another language from English. I just love it.


Older Engrish

I have a special treat for you guys today. I recently dug out this old dollar store children’s diary I found several years ago. I forgot how good the Engrish is. Most of it is weird, random sayings. Some of it is just… well, look at the cover. (I’ll type it out, in case you can’t see it on your screen)

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“Good Luck
You’re always on my mind I’ll be there until the end of time
My heart is flammable when I see your beautiful eyes.”

Um… thanks, sleepy sheep!

And in case you didn’t get the message there at the top:

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It only gets better.

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MY LIFE PURE LOVE WILL SAVE THE MEMORY”

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“BEST WISHES FOREVER
You have a way of making me really
high on life.”

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“Wishing you every success in your future career”

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“BEET WISHES
I have come here to give you good luck”

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“Let’s go! Hurry up! Welcome to fat land  Oh, shit too past”

I’m sorry, what was that again?

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That’s what I thought you said.

Engrish, you are SO GROUNDED.


Expanding Engrish

Yes, I found a new store with very much of Engrish for your infinite pleasure of perusal. Click to make the pictures bigger! Technology!

Enjoy. 🙂

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“Now with severed feet!”

Holy Bratz rip-offs, Batman!

Holy Bratz rip-offs, Batman!

^This one was actually a cute concept: world-travelling dolls with passports and edumactaional  opportunities. It’s not the best Engrish, but I did enjoy “feel the amorous of each other countries.”  It’s Eat, Party, Love. I also love how in the picture two of the girls have soulless, dead eyes, while the others have sparkling little reflections. Whatever countries they’re representing, I think it’s safe to assume that the zombies have won.

"Transcend B/O" Don't we all wish...

“Transcend B/O” Don’t we all wish…

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Engrish toys have the best back-stories. Seriously.

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Sucking up AND the hard sell. This one wins.

Sucking up AND the hard sell. This one wins.


One of Unique Engrish for Monday. Collect them All!

I’ve got a bigger Engrish post coming on Thursday (if my scheduling calculations are correct, and they aren’t always), but I thought this one deserved its own post.

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“Let’s own your friends.”

I call shotgun on basing a story on this one.

Also, I’ve added a handy-dandy “Engrish” category over there on the right, in case anyone needs to refer back to these oh-so-important posts. You’re so welcome. 🙂


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