Tag Archives: dolls

Expanding Engrish

Yes, I found a new store with very much of Engrish for your infinite pleasure of perusal. Click to make the pictures bigger! Technology!

Enjoy. 🙂

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“Now with severed feet!”

Holy Bratz rip-offs, Batman!

Holy Bratz rip-offs, Batman!

^This one was actually a cute concept: world-travelling dolls with passports and edumactaional  opportunities. It’s not the best Engrish, but I did enjoy “feel the amorous of each other countries.”  It’s Eat, Party, Love. I also love how in the picture two of the girls have soulless, dead eyes, while the others have sparkling little reflections. Whatever countries they’re representing, I think it’s safe to assume that the zombies have won.

"Transcend B/O" Don't we all wish...

“Transcend B/O” Don’t we all wish…

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Engrish toys have the best back-stories. Seriously.

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Sucking up AND the hard sell. This one wins.

Sucking up AND the hard sell. This one wins.


One of Unique Engrish for Monday. Collect them All!

I’ve got a bigger Engrish post coming on Thursday (if my scheduling calculations are correct, and they aren’t always), but I thought this one deserved its own post.

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“Let’s own your friends.”

I call shotgun on basing a story on this one.

Also, I’ve added a handy-dandy “Engrish” category over there on the right, in case anyone needs to refer back to these oh-so-important posts. You’re so welcome. 🙂


Engrish Invasion

Yes, folks, it’s time for another Engrish post. Nothing new the last few times I’ve been to Rossy (and really, I only go for you guys), but I have some saved from before. It’s not sensible rationing or intelligent forethought so much as the fact that this one was too good to dilute with other contributions in the last Engrish post. Also, the demon-fairy that appeared when we read that one out loud has been causing problems , and we didn’t want to risk that again.

We’ll be going back to Barbie knock-offs today, though I have a few ponies, cars and trucks for another day. Oh, the muddled bounty!

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Pole-dancing fairies. Collect them all!

OK, so that wasn’t true Engrish as much as a WTF cheap doll moment, but she is riding that massive staff like a boss*. You go, fairy!

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I’ve heard that one before. STOP PRESSURING ME!

Yeah, I've heard that one before, too...

Yep, I’ve heard that one before, too.

Infinite pleasure is a HUGE thing on these boxes. It’s both promising and disturbing.

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You know, I want to say that I’ve heard that before, but nope. This is completely new to me.

But still, is anyone else starting to think that “I’ve heard that before” could be the new “that’s what she said?”

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And last but not least (not that there’s any objective way to rank this stuff), we have Simple happy DIY beauty hair! YESSSSS! You know, I wish I had more toys that would let my imagination. Or let me imagination, depending on how you read that. Also, no one ever offered me infinite space when I was a kid, and I’m kind of upset about that. It’s not infinite pleasure, but it’s something.

ENJOY THIS HAPPY TIME WIHT YOU

Oh, and this is for Jae at Lit and Scribbles. Just when you thought they couldn’t get any cheaper… DRUNKEN FLOOZIE PLAYSET IS ON SALE! (Here’s their first appearance her at DtP)

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Gutter and wine coolers not included.

*And if that exact line doesn’t appear in a published volume of erotic fiction, there’s something wrong with this world. Somebody needs to get on that. So to speak.


Attack of the Knock-Offs

I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to know that I went back to Rossy last weekend (see also: this post). I didn’t have much time for photos (it was an emergency sock-finding mission), but I couldn’t leave without searching for a few more Engrish-tastic treats for you guys. Please, save your applause for the comments section.

First up: Wild Focus! I really don’t know how I left the store without this. Everlasting friendship(!) is good, but fashion smell? That’s something that’s REALLY hard to find.

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Yeah, I know. That dress, right? Apparently this particular fashion smell is eau de wardrobe malfunction. Dolls Gone Wild (Focus)!
I actually found the dolls themselves more entertaining than the packaging this time. These two were particular favourites:

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Say what you will about Rossy, but I’m willing to bet you can’t get a Drunken Floozie play set at Walmart. I’m not sure what’s most disturbing here: the trashy streaks in the hair, the stench of desperation coming off of the one with her boobs falling out, or the fact that the one on the left kind of looks like Paris Hilton (but less plastic). Also, it looks like Paris there is holding her BFF’s hair as she frantically searches for a gutter to puke in, but that’s more hilarious than disturbing.

OK, last up today we have the amusingly-named White-Collar OH DEAR LORD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER CROTCH?!!

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I’m going to be having nightmares about that for the next month. First grade product my ass.

-_-


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