Yes, folks, it’s time for another Engrish post. Nothing new the last few times I’ve been to Rossy (and really, I only go for you guys), but I have some saved from before. It’s not sensible rationing or intelligent forethought so much as the fact that this one was too good to dilute with other contributions in the last Engrish post. Also, the demon-fairy that appeared when we read that one out loud has been causing problems , and we didn’t want to risk that again.
We’ll be going back to Barbie knock-offs today, though I have a few ponies, cars and trucks for another day. Oh, the muddled bounty!
Pole-dancing fairies. Collect them all!
OK, so that wasn’t true Engrish as much as a WTF cheap doll moment, but she is riding that massive staff like a boss*. You go, fairy!
I’ve heard that one before. STOP PRESSURING ME!
Yep, I’ve heard that one before, too.
Infinite pleasure is a HUGE thing on these boxes. It’s both promising and disturbing.
You know, I want to say that I’ve heard that before, but nope. This is completely new to me.
But still, is anyone else starting to think that “I’ve heard that before” could be the new “that’s what she said?”
And last but not least (not that there’s any objective way to rank this stuff), we have Simple happy DIY beauty hair! YESSSSS! You know, I wish I had more toys that would let my imagination. Or let me imagination, depending on how you read that. Also, no one ever offered me infinite space when I was a kid, and I’m kind of upset about that. It’s not infinite pleasure, but it’s something.
ENJOY THIS HAPPY TIME WIHT YOU
Oh, and this is for Jae at Lit and Scribbles. Just when you thought they couldn’t get any cheaper… DRUNKEN FLOOZIE PLAYSET IS ON SALE! (Here’s their first appearance her at DtP)
Gutter and wine coolers not included.
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*And if that exact line doesn’t appear in a published volume of erotic fiction, there’s something wrong with this world. Somebody needs to get on that. So to speak.
disregard the prologue 
May 2nd, 2013 at 10:47 am
Stunning. Just stunning. And I thought the white trash Barbies were just a meme. Turns out they’re real!
May 2nd, 2013 at 10:49 am
Aren’t they charming? Their first appearance here was fun, I’m glad they’re back. 🙂
May 2nd, 2013 at 10:50 am
And appropriately enough, discounted. LOL
May 2nd, 2013 at 11:27 am
Wow. You know, my sister-in-law and I were joking around about a pole-dancing Barbie years ago. Little did we know that this was a reality. And oh man, the floozy playset???? Is this all part of the Learn How to Be a Hussy School?
May 2nd, 2013 at 11:51 am
I just added a link to their first appearance here. I tried to dissect the… phenomenon… but kind of failed. There just aren’t words.
May 2nd, 2013 at 1:02 pm
You gotta keep going with this. It’s fascinating.
May 2nd, 2013 at 1:04 pm
I look for new stuff every time we go visit my in-laws. It’s so fun!
May 2nd, 2013 at 11:58 am
Omg! Stop doing this to me!!! I NEED a drunken floozie playset!!! And a pole dancing fairy! Now!!
May 2nd, 2013 at 2:23 pm
Bwahahahahaha! You win the internet today! This is one of my favorite things EVAAAA! And my drunken floozie set on sale! Yes! Hey, if you ever see that Rainbow Brite cross stitch I dreamed about, you’ve got to pick one up for me. 😉
So is the pole dancing Barbie’s name Aidella? I mean literally Aidella? with the question mark attached. Can you imagine? I guess you could pronounce your kid’s name with the uptone at the end. His name is John?, spelled J-O-H-N-question mark. Aidella?
Also, how is the English writer of these toys competent enough to know what DIY means, but not what his sentences generally imply? Of course, I’m sure the Chinese get a good laugh at all the kanji tattoos out there that probably say things similar to what we’re reading here. Ah, the language barrier.
May 2nd, 2013 at 2:25 pm
I tend to assume the good-natured laughter goes both ways. 🙂
May 2nd, 2013 at 3:37 pm
“Let your child in infinite space…”
I think they just told you to throw your kid out the airlock.
May 2nd, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Ha! They totally did!