Just when you thought it was safe to go shopping…
You know what? I have more, but that… I can’t add anything to that. The rest can wait
–
UPDATE: My husband read that out loud, and it has summoned some sort of magical beauty demon/fairy thing. We can’t understand a damn thing he says, but his style is, indeed, astonishing!
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disregard the prologue 
March 14th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Does it do tricks or turn tricks? It’s quite an important distinction.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Just part of the mystery, I guess. π
March 14th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
What I always want to know is what they were hoping to say. I wonder what the poor person’s reaction would be if we translated this back into their tongue as is. (Btw, I can’t stop giggling). This post is especially! It arrived me upward to hotly decide what GIGGLE. And me of the humor is together. I thank you!
March 14th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
You’re disturbingly good at that. O.o
I usually try to figure out what the intended message was. Sometimes it’s fairly obvious, but this one just confused me and made me laugh. Good enough for me!
March 14th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Why thank you! I read a lot of spam. π I feel like my spammers must have part-time jobs writing Engrish for toy boxes. Or maybe they all went to the same Engrish class? Oh! That reminds me of a story you can tell yourself when you have one of those nasty headaches.
So my roommate’s company recently switched their help support to India. She’s terrible at understanding accents (although not so terrible at mimicking them). Anyways, she could barely understand them, and they rarely understood her. So I recommended that maybe she speak to them in their own accent for clarification. οΌββ½βοΌSo she started speaking to him in an Indian accent. Guess what? It worked!
But that’s not all. Even though he understood her, the call was still taking too long. She got furious and started yelling at him. Did she drop the accent? Oh no, she was yelling at him, still in an Indian accent. It’s not often I literally ROTFLOL. π
March 14th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Holy CRAP I wish I could have heard that!
March 14th, 2013 at 12:32 pm
It was epic. π And when she told her co-workers, first they laughed, but then curiously asked, “So it really does work?” π
March 14th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
Works here. If you order a “happy meal” at McDonald’s, it takes them a second, and they’ll often double-check. If you say you want “a ‘Appy Meal,” you’re good. Mostly true in smaller communities. (And I’m generalizing, of course- this has only happened to me at a few locations)
It confuses me, because presumably they understand people on TV shows with “mainland” accents. I guess it just depends on what you’re used to hearing. Doesn’t bother me at all, I like Newfoundland accents. π
March 14th, 2013 at 2:51 pm
I love hearing different accents too. NYC is one of the best places to go for that. I love hearing the hard core New Yorkers talk, especially when you ask them for directions. π Sounds like I’ll have to check out Newfoundland some day.
March 14th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
Oh, yes. Best place to visit if you like accents/dialects/regional slang/being called “my love” by strangers. Pretty in the summer, too. And icebergs! And whales! And PUFFINS! π
March 14th, 2013 at 5:50 pm
I’ll admit I had to google puffins. And then I was like, no way! A penguin-bird?! Suh-weeeeeet! Just going to mark Newfoundland on the list now. π
March 14th, 2013 at 6:11 pm
They’re the cutest little clown penguin thingies ever! And the look hilarious when they fly.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Terrible translations were one of my favorite things about living in Shanghai. “Imitating is true of style!” Hah!
As for the magical demon/fairy, maybe read some Charles Dickens to him. The plethora of independent and dependent clauses should chase him “upward hotly.”
March 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm
Ooh, good thinking!
March 19th, 2013 at 7:31 am
[…] the top, you may have noticed the Fairy Especially. This was inspired by Kate’s Engrish post. I was still giggling after reading it and tried to draw something that she and her husband […]
May 2nd, 2013 at 10:35 am
[…] from before. It’s not sensible rationing or intelligent forethought so much as the fact that this one was too good to dilute with other contributions in the last Engrish post. Also, the demon-fairy […]