Monthly Archives: January 2014

From the “Boy Aisle” at Rossy…

Guys, the cars-and-trucks-and-action-figures aisle at Rossy… it’s just wrong on so many levels. And yet so very right…

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“Convulsion Enter” is going to be the title of my first foray into Erotica. Called it!

(“Luster Surface could be the heroine!)

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“Unbelievable Stimulation” will be the sequel. There will be plastic parts. Just FYI.


ROW80 Update, Gold Stars Edition

I’m lying in bed as I type this. Not by choice; my lower back still feels like it’s trying to peel itself away from the rest of my body and escape. Still, it’s nice to have the option. It’s 2:38 on Saturday afternoon, the kids haven’t killed each other while I’ve been in here, my parents are safely at their new home in THIS VERY PROVINCE (holycrapwow)… So I’m not complaining about anything.

A Round of Words demands an update, does it?

*cracks knuckles*

Writing:

I’m moving slowly toward my editing goals. Chapters one and two have shaped up nicely– nicely enough to be sent away and ripped apart, anyway. I’ve eliminated most of the semicolons from the manuscript, which a few of you know is a big huge insane accomplishment. My addiction is ridiculous. Like, multiple semicolons in a single paragraph ridiculous, because they’re invisible to me when I’m reading things over. There are now exactly three in the entire book.

PROGRESS! *self-high-five, which is really just clapping, but whatever*

I’ve also got scenes outlined on lovely index cards, and have decided that a few of them could be combined with other scenes, which (maybe, possibly, I hope) might cut a few thousand words and make one character stronger. I’ve finally nailed down one main character’s motivation for doing a Very Big Thing, and the other’s situation at the beginning of the story.

Pro tip: Make sure you get these things straight before you start the first draft. Or the second. *headdesk* This is what I get for allowing the guy who was supposed to be a love interest to tell his side of the story.

Sooooo many scenes.

Sooooo many scenes.

In related-but-not-goal-specific news, my earliest reader for Bound is now looking at my draft of the sequel. This is a huge step for me– I never show anyone work that’s not polished. I think this will be better, though, because I already know there are issues. My wonderful friend has been asking for this for over a year and a half, now. It’s time.

Reading:

I’ve started reading that ARC that I mentioned, and I’m already floored by the amazingness. So far it rates a “let the bathwater get cold” on the “Couldn’t Put It Down” scale, which isn’t too shabby. I’m always a little nervous about promising a review (as I’m always honest, but hate to hurt anyone’s feelings), but I don’t think I need to worry about stepping on any toes with this one.

I finished reading Coraline to the boys last night, and they’re already asking when we can read it again. I suggested maybe reading another book together, instead. They’re considering it.

Haven’t read any non-fiction this week.

Personal:

I’m getting better (though by no means perfect) about putting the phone down when the kids are around. I crave distraction, so this is difficult for me. This probably indicates deep and horrible issues, but for now, I’ll just deal with that symptom.

Made to-do lists every night. Partial credit for follow-through.

Meal planning… THAT’S what I was supposed to be doing right now! I knew there was something. Better get on that. See below for my cry for help…

So that’s it. I think I’m doing well so far. I’m going to have four hours to kill on Monday when I take the car in for repairs and have to wait around for a dentist appointment, so here’s hoping I get a crazy amount of editing done then, or at least get through one of the two upcoming tough bits. I’ll be reporting back on Wednesday, and if I stay on track I’ll let myself participate in WIPpet Wednesday this week.

Gold stars all around!

Questions for you: Any ideas for cheap, simple meals that don’t require that the cook stand for long periods of time? What do you think I should read next with the kids? And writers, at what stage do you feel comfortable letting people see your work?


Engrish* and Rip-offs and Copyright Infringement, Oh My!

Here we go again! I’ve been collecting pictures every time we stop by Rossy, aka Fakie Central. I just haven’t been posting. Enjoy!

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Healthy new fashion! New concept of beauty! Sounds exciting right? Maybe a realistic body image, or…

OH DEAR LORD, LOOK AT HER LEGS.

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Apparently this healthy new fashion has no room for frivolities like knees and muscles. THESE THINGS MATTER NOT IN THE HEALTHY NEW FASHION!

WHY AM I YELLING?

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Stylish dolls series deserve most to collect!

Wow. Disney is going to slap a bitch (with a lawsuit, obviously). They’re not so keen on the whole copyright infringement thing, y’know?

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*headdesk* Now you’ve done it. You’ve stolen the font. THE SACRED DISNEY FONT.

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Does anyone else think it looks like the Princesses are experiencing problems with the water pressure in the Royal Showers? Their hair seems to be lacking in that unrealistic bounce and poof thing they usually have going on.

Let’s see what else is happening with this particular product…

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OMG THERE’RE TOTALLY 3FUNCTIONS, GUYS! šŸ˜€

I should wrap this up. There’s more for another time, but I need to sort through the BOUNTY OF PHOTOS to make sure I’m not re-posting anything you’ve all seen before. To finish up, let’s have a rip-off from another company– not Mattel or Disney this time, but Hasbro, makers of my beloved My Little Pony:

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*shudder*

Knock off toy and stolen box art from my least-favourite generation of ponies. I never would have thought they could be creepier than the Hasbro versions. I was mistaken.

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Aww, guys. She loves the collo. Loves it SO DAMN MUCH.

For anyone who can’t read it, that bottom portion reads: “Special Style- Design for the children all are fangled and in the high quality welcome you use our products.”

Well, as long as they’re all fangled… I’ll take one of each. Thanks.

*Yes, I use the term “Engrish” to cover badly-phrased translations from various countries rather than labelling them separately by origin. It’s just easier, and this seems to be the most widely-recognized term for the phenomenon. And no, I’m not mocking, though I do find it amusing, and I’m sure I’d do far worse if I had to translate something into another language from English. I just love it.


A Round of Words Goals, Vandaleyes edition

Round one of “A Round of Words in 80 Days” started on Monday. I meant to do my goals post on Sunday, but we were away. Better late than never, right?

No WIPpet Wednesday post from me today. All I’ve been doing is reading over a manuscript, trying to figure out edits, so there’s no new writing to share. I haven’t been getting much done recently. The kids were home for two weeks, and we’re now on their third day of no school when they should have been back. It’s not the weather; skies are clear here, and the roads are fine. Temperatures aren’t even that bad right now. But our part of the province (as in, the entire island portion) is having something of a power crisis, and all schools are closed to conserve.

Long story.

So here we are, still at home, still together 24/7. We’re getting a little bored. There are books to read, of course. The kids and I are almost through Coraline by Neil Gaiman, and they’re enjoying it. There are new toys, but even they lose their appeal after a while, and Ike has perfected his “annoy everyone while also playing with new toys” technique. In light of this, today seemed like a good day to break out my new self-adhesive googly eyes and vandaleyes some stuff around the house.

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Oh, eos, you so cute!

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I’d look like that, too.

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I am Aslan, hear me google.

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…you get the idea. It kept us busy for a while, anyway.

So here’s hoping that school schedules and power supplies get back to normal soon, and I get a chance to get back to work!

ROW80 Goals, Round 1 – 2014

Round one runs from January 6 to… some time in March, I guess.

Writing goals:

  • Edit Bound, get it ready to go for editing by February 10 (I know, that sounds like cleaning the house before the cleaners come. Just trying to save myself some money and get as much educational value out of this as I can). Spend 2.5 hours per day on this while it’s the main focus.
  • Work on short stories, unrelated projects while that’s away. 1.5 hours’ work per day, or 1000 new words.
  • Outline book 3 of this trilogy

Reading Goals:

  • Read ARC I received recently and review for February 10
  • Read over another friend’s book for him
  • read one novel and one non-fiction book per month (more if possible, this is the minimum goal)

Personal Goals:

  • Put phone away when kids are around (no Twitter, Facebook, etc. when I should be spending in-person time with family), block Twitter and Facebook during writing time.
  • Once my back can handle it, exercise four times per week (walk dog when it’s nice out, Pilates when it’s not.)
  • Make short, prioritized to do list every evening before bed
  • Make weekly meal plan and shop accordingly to try to eat better (and save money by not eating out/wasting food)
  • Prepare everything we need for taxes so I can get that in as soon as AJ gets his forms from work.
  • Talk to my dad (who’s a finances-and-tax type guy) about what I need to keep track of for business purposes
  • Get out to visit my parents once they’re settled in Corner Brook
  • Get a chiropractor
  • Plan our garden (you really can’t plant here before June, but we can plan!)

I guess that’s enough for one round.

Who else is doing ROW80 this round? Either way, what are your plans for the near future? And what do you think I should stick googly eyes on next?


#Simondegreen

I know, it’s too late for this to be a Mondegreen Monday post. In my defense, though, I never promised that I’d offer anything here regularly or on time. That, plus a crazy weekend involving province-wide power outages, burst pipes and 8+ hours of car rides on too much Robaxacet means that I get to post this now.

Sweet deal, I know.

My older son is like me in many ways. He spends a lot of time alone, in his own little world. He often pretends he’s a rock star, and he spends hours singing and dancing in the basement. He walks to and from school bouncing to the beat in his head, singing quietly to himself. Sometimes it’s his own songs, sometimes others he’s heard.

The kid loves music, is what I’m saying.

We were all eating supper the other night, and Simon started singing to himself.

“Maaaaan on a rug! Man on a RUG!”

After a few seconds of silence, AJ asked, “Do you mean ‘Band on the run’?”

Simon thought for a bit. “Maybe.”

It’s too late for me, now. The song is always going to be Man on a Rug. Thanks, Simon.


So Long, Farewell

…Kind of.

I’m going to be somewhat busy this month as I attempt to prepare a 100,000+ word novel for editing. I thought at one time that I was done, but I’m now aware of plot issues that I can’t just let go. Why pay someone to tell me what I already know, right? So back in I go, no doubt bashing my head into the desk at regular intervals, as soon as the kids are back in school next week. The good news is that I’m having a good time reading it over, in spite of the fact that I should be sick of it by now. So hooray for that!

I’ll be doing a big post on things I’ve learned from this process some time in the near future. SO MUCH LEARNING I AM DOING, and it’s only beginning. The next few months should be quite intense.

I’m not complaining about the work. It’s a puzzle, but the answer is there. I just need to find it. And I did sign up for this, after all. But it’s going to be busy, and I’m on my first real deadline since I started taking my writing seriously. So what I’m saying is that I might not be around a lot between now and mid-February, as this has to take precedence over blogging. I’ll try to be here for WIPpet Wednesdays, and I should be around to read blogs and like/comment when I can. There will likely be a few spontaneous posts. I just can’t stay away, and I wouldn’t want you all to forget me completely. *sob*

Otherwise…


Big Plans, Big Plans…

someecards.com - It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.

WARNING: I am writing this on New Year’s Eve, while on drugs. Pain pills and muscle relaxants for my back, to be precise. This is not a problem for most people. I, on the other hand, feel like I’m viewing the world through a fluffy tunnel made of pink cotton batting. It’s happy in here, but somewhat confusing.

Also, I have a hot water bottle shoved in my pants that’s giving me a lovely Quasimodo look, and I’m shuffling around like my great-grandmother did when she was nearing 100. THIS IS SO HOT.

Still, I said I was going to do a New Year’s goal setting post, so here we go. If it doesn’t all make sense, well, there’s always tomorrow to revise.

Professional Goals

My word of the year for 2014 is going to be… (drumroll please): Decisiveness.

Is that a word? That looks wrong.

Decisive. Hmm. Spell-check is cool with it. Maybe we should go with “commitment?”

In the past (like, right now), I’ve been afraid to commit to anything serious. I don’t like taking risks. I like to know I can back out of things without too much fuss or embarrassment if I change my mind. Really, it’s a wonder I ever got married. If I take on a challenge or a big project, I do so fairly quietly. I try to keep my investment in most things to a minimum, and downplay their importance so as to avoid the pain of losing when I give up or fail.

I like to have an easy out, is what I’m saying.

This is going to be the year I get over that. I’m going to dive into the deep end. In March (and I have reasons for this timing), I will have reached the point of no return. I will change my Facebook profile name to match my professional name. If people ask why, I’ll tell them. And I’ll add a job to my profile there, and set up an author page (much good it’ll do me; Facebook seems to be making things difficult for pages, and I hope most people will add me as a friend as well as following that).

I will announce a book release date.

I will work my ass off and get a book out.

And another one.

Two books in 2014 is the goal. For some people, that’s nothing. Some people can release six or 12 novels in a year. I can’t, for various reasons. But two, both of which I’m already working on, seems reasonable.

I will manage my time, set deadlines, and get this done. I know what I want, and for once in my life I’m going to take some risks to get it.

(It’s kind of crazy how things change. Last night I was reading a journal entry from a year ago, when I was stressing about writing a perfect query letter and hoping to get an agent. Now my goals have completely changed, and I’ve decided that path’s not for me. Never would have called that. I guess in light of that, my other word for the year should be flexibility. It’s worked well so far, and in the changing and increasingly challenging landscape of independent/author publishing, it’s absolutely necessary.)

Personal Goals

I think my big personal goal will be to get organized. I probably said that last year, too. But I feel like maybe, if I can focus on work during half-days when the kids are both at school, I should be able to keep household stuff under control. My work time used to be whenever I could grab it, which meant I was always scattered, and always thinking I should be doing something else. Now there might be a chance of focusing, if I can break the habit of checking e-mail and Twitter, etc. every ten minutes.

Okay, every four minutes. Jeez, you guys see right through me, don’t you?

I’ll have three hours a day to myself when kindergarten is in morning sessions (January, March, May), one and a half hours when they’re on afternoons. It will take some planning and a lot of co-operation from the kids, but I should be able to get 8-10 work hours in per week, and then do groceries, exercise, meal planning, and house cleaning during the other daytime hours, leaving evenings to relax and do some research and reading of blogs and books. Work time will be writing, formatting, and other book-ish stuff, plus whatever promotional…

Ugh, I’m screwed, right?

Well, I wasn’t planning on making it big on my first book, anyway. In September both kids will be in school all day (but home for lunch), so I’ll be able to do more promotional stuff when the second book comes out. The writing part is more important.

Wait, this section was personal goals, wasn’t it? *scoops brain off of floor, puts back in head*

Read a novel a week, plus a business/craft book every two weeks. Plan all suppers, grocery shop once a week. Make time to help with the kids’ homework every day, and read them a story before bed. Learn to be more patient, somehow. Get into a routine. Keep the house clean. If I can’t get over my telephone-related anxiety, at least enlist help from AJ and get those calls made somehow. Get a chiropractor. Floss teeth every day. Spend less time on things that aren’t important.

Good enough?

My head is spinning. I’m not sure if that’s the drugs or the future. I’m guessing the drugs. I’m not drinking, but I may spend New Year’s Eve passed out on the floor after all. WOOHOO, PARTY!


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