I scheduled this post in advance… hopefully I’m writing right now or doing something else productive instead of farting around with computer games or facebook. Honestly, it could go either way.
I couldn’t leave you without something today, though. This was a while back, at our old house, when Ike and Jack were both a little younger. Yes, my dog sounds like a Wookiee, and he has very chewy lips.
Yes, I found a new store with very much of Engrish for your infinite pleasure of perusal. Click to make the pictures bigger! Technology!
Enjoy. 🙂
“Now with severed feet!”
Holy Bratz rip-offs, Batman!
^This one was actually a cute concept: world-travelling dolls with passports and edumactaional opportunities. It’s not the best Engrish, but I did enjoy “feel the amorous of each other countries.” It’s Eat, Party, Love. I also love how in the picture two of the girls have soulless, dead eyes, while the others have sparkling little reflections. Whatever countries they’re representing, I think it’s safe to assume that the zombies have won.
“Transcend B/O” Don’t we all wish…
Engrish toys have the best back-stories. Seriously.
Yes, folks, it’s time for another Engrish post. Nothing new the last few times I’ve been to Rossy (and really, I only go for you guys), but I have some saved from before. It’s not sensible rationing or intelligent forethought so much as the fact that this one was too good to dilute with other contributions in the last Engrish post. Also, the demon-fairy that appeared when we read that one out loud has been causing problems , and we didn’t want to risk that again.
We’ll be going back to Barbie knock-offs today, though I have a few ponies, cars and trucks for another day. Oh, the muddled bounty!
Pole-dancing fairies. Collect them all!
OK, so that wasn’t true Engrish as much as a WTF cheap doll moment, but she is riding that massive staff like a boss*. You go, fairy!
I’ve heard that one before. STOP PRESSURING ME!
Yep, I’ve heard that one before, too.
Infinite pleasure is a HUGE thing on these boxes. It’s both promising and disturbing.
You know, I want to say that I’ve heard that before, but nope. This is completely new to me.
But still, is anyone else starting to think that “I’ve heard that before” could be the new “that’s what she said?”
And last but not least (not that there’s any objective way to rank this stuff), we have Simple happy DIY beauty hair! YESSSSS! You know, I wish I had more toys that would let my imagination. Or let me imagination, depending on how you read that. Also, no one ever offered me infinite space when I was a kid, and I’m kind of upset about that. It’s not infinite pleasure, but it’s something.
*And if that exact line doesn’t appear in a published volume of erotic fiction, there’s something wrong with this world. Somebody needs to get on that. So to speak.
I hope it’s been a good one for all of you. For me, it’s been about the same as it always is, which is pretty fine by me. Spring is coming, if somewhat reluctantly. I’m ripping my hair out over revisions and edits, but that’s a good thing (long-term, I mean), and things are looking good. I might have tightened things up too much… we’ll see if my CPs give me a “Whaaaa–?!” for not giving enough information. Odds are, it’ll be fine. What else… Oh, Captain America helped me do the dishes a few days ago, and now he’s playing “Garbage Dump” on the living room floor. Can’t beat that! WIPpet Wednesday left no one in the story bleeding, crying, vomiting, or trapped in a dragon cave, which is a nice change of pace.
(It’s not ALL that horrible stuff. That just makes for really fun teasers)
In other news, I’ve been nominated for a couple of blog awards, both of which require me to nominate 10 or 11 other bloggers. It sounds like fun, but I really don’t know which of you are into these things, or who’s done them already. It’s a problem. I’m honoured to be nominated (SOMEBODY LIKES ME!), but I don’t know who to share the love with. Hmm…
On to next week! Here in DtP land, I mostly have no idea. On Tuesday we’re going to have a discussion about using senses in writing to create… well, everything. Yep, I said discussion. I’m not a professional or an expert, and you guys have as much to offer as I do. So if you have a scene (or part of one) from your own work that shows off your sensory scene-building skills, polish that sucker up and bring it for show and tell! If you’re not a writer but you have an example from a book you’ve read, or would like to share your own preferences as a reader, bring those, too. Care to confess how the smell of your own feet inspires you when you’re writing the sexy stuff? Maybe just keep that to yourself. Over there, in the corner. Keep going. There you go. No, keep your shoes on.
Other than that, who knows? Maybe a book review. I was going to wait and post one when I finish The Night Circus, but that might never happen, so maybe something else I’ve read recently. Or a photographic tour of our sad little garden-to-be. Or the story of how a publisher lost a paperback sale yesterday by charging a butt-load of money for an e-book. Or chickens! Why not?
I don’t even know what’s coming for WIPpet Wednesday. That’ll be the first of the month. Awkwarrrrrrrd…
And with that, I leave you. I feel like I should leave you with something happy. How about…
A cat in a shark suit riding a roomba?
Someone posted this on my facebook wall, and I think it’s nearly perfect. First of all, it’s a cat who apparently has no problem wearing a stupid costume, and it is quite happily riding a roomba around like this is completely normal. Am I the only one who imagined a “Haters Gonna Hate” caption under him? He knows he’s a badass, and he doesn’t care what you think. And then there’s his sidekick, who happens to be a duckling, which is both absurd and wonderful. Really, I think the only flaw in the video is the dog. He looks sad and embarrassed, and the added element just takes away from the balanced surrealism of the rest. /end critique/
There’s a version that cuts it off before the dog, but I thought the original creator of the video deserved the views. I’m too nice.
In conclusion, cats are awesome. If I had another point I was trying to make today, that video just made me lose it.
I’ve had a migraine all day. It feels like an upset stomach in my head. My brain is going to throw up.
Where would that go? Maybe it already did and there’s nowhere for that stuff to go, and it’s squishing my brain. Why is no one reporting this in medical journals?! Somebody should get on that.
I’m pretty much a zombie. Advil, Tylenol, Aleve. It still hurts. I just don’t care as much. Do painkillers do this to everyone? I’m all wonky.
Actually, a zombie probably wouldn’t feel pain. Or do they? Would I feel better if I were deader? But then my limbs would probably fall off. Kind of a trade-off, I guess.
Know what’s a funny word? Ornery. Sounds like a bird. An Oriole. Or Ornithology. Orville the Ornery Ornithologist should be a thing. Should be a children’s book. I should do that after I finish writing my last brilliant idea:
Blueballs the Eternally Frustrated Pirate and His Crew of Seasick Seamen.
Heh.
Ow.
I should not try to work tonight.
EDIT:
Holy crap this teapot has a helm it’s a Game of Thrones teapot. O.o
It’s Friday, I’m lazy, so I’m just going to leave this here. Taken together, these three book reviews are the single most satisfying and entertaining trilogy I have ever read. I laughed until I cried (literally, tears on my face).
Would I like to receive a review like this some day? Hell no, but I’d take this over most of the incoherent, non-GIF-filled muttering that most dissatisfied readers manage.
Also, I’m just going to leave this here, because it also made me laugh this week when some surreal news came out: This. So much. <—- Seriously, click that.
I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to know that I went back to Rossy last weekend (see also: this post). I didn’t have much time for photos (it was an emergency sock-finding mission), but I couldn’t leave without searching for a few more Engrish-tastic treats for you guys. Please, save your applause for the comments section.
First up: Wild Focus! I really don’t know how I left the store without this. Everlasting friendship(!) is good, but fashion smell? That’s something that’s REALLY hard to find.
Yeah, I know. That dress, right? Apparently this particular fashion smell is eau de wardrobe malfunction. Dolls Gone Wild (Focus)!
I actually found the dolls themselves more entertaining than the packaging this time. These two were particular favourites:
Say what you will about Rossy, but I’m willing to bet you can’t get a Drunken Floozie play set at Walmart. I’m not sure what’s most disturbing here: the trashy streaks in the hair, the stench of desperation coming off of the one with her boobs falling out, or the fact that the one on the left kind of looks like Paris Hilton (but less plastic). Also, it looks like Paris there is holding her BFF’s hair as she frantically searches for a gutter to puke in, but that’s more hilarious than disturbing.
OK, last up today we have the amusingly-named White-Collar OH DEAR LORD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER CROTCH?!!
I’m going to be having nightmares about that for the next month. First grade product my ass.
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